Re-do
by Anna Fawn
Summary: 1928, Edward saved Bella from being murdered only to murder her himself. How will this affect are dear Edward? The fact that he had killed an innocent human girl would've surely killed him except, Bella had a few things to say. What did she say? He see's her again in 1959, but she doesn't know him. How's that possible? He meets her again at Forks high school 2004. What will happen?
1. Chapter 1: A few words

I killed her! I killed an innocent girl! I killed her! Yet it was as though she had put me under some sort of spell. Her blood had called to me and it sang within my veins. It had felt like heaven at the time, but now I felt I was a disgrace - I had killed her. At the same time I couldn't help but wounder, did she want me to kill her? My gut said no, not exactly, but she had forgiven me, she had given me permission, she had accepted fate and soothed me. Who was she? Where did she come from? What did she mean? I reviewed the events,

I had heard the devilish thoughts of a human monster and followed him as he stocked the small brunette. Her delicate features mingled in his mind with the others of his past victims - it made me sick! I tried to hear the girls thought, but was instead met by a strange and annoying void. It infuriated me, but also caught my interest. As much as I hated to dive deeper than necessary into the evil mans brain, I wanted to see her. So I tried again. This time I noticed she was wearing a beautiful, but casual blue dress, that complemented her pale skin tone and showed of her curves - which the man called Duke was intently staring at. The dress itself showed she was not rich, nor was she poor. It was slightly professional, slightly sexy and yet far from inappropriate. Wait, did I just mentally call her sexy?! I discarded the thought. As for foot wear, she wore nice black flats instead of high heals - I respected that. I could see her hips were slightly swaying with each step as if she were tempting the man behind her and every once and a while she would stumble forward as if she were intoxicated...or maybe she was just extremely clumsy. Though it would make sense if she were drunk or drugged considering the place she was in and heading deep into. So why did I get the distinct feeling she knew where she was going, what she was doing and that she was tempting the man behind her purposefully, so he would go after her? Perhaps it was the intelligent and graceful way she held herself or the confident way she walked and swung her hips. Maybe it was the way she dressed even, but there was just something about her that made me think she wanted the bad man to follow. Even as I questioned that theory, my gut told me I was corrected. I don't think she wanted to die and she wasn't a slut either, but I just couldn't figure out why she was doing this - the reason was above my knowledge. I don't know how, but I knew that she was special, she was innocent, she was like an angel and I swear she was sacrificing herself. Yes, she was! I saw a familiar blond haired female that I instantly recognized as Rosalie Hale in a recent memory of this foul Duke guy. He had planned on taking Rose, but then Isabella had popped up in front of him and started flirting. He missed the few fearful glances she shot at Rose, but I didn't. Now the main question was, how had she known he was going to go after Rose? That one wasn't answered, but his memory quickly continued, Isabella had left and he'd followed her instead of Rose. He was laughing to himself saying she was practically begging for it and that it was all because how hansom he was - hah, yeah right! The guy angered me further! I'd never been this angry or protective and hating, but this young Isabella had already found a soft spot in my heart. She would not die tonight!

That's what I'd thought anyways...

She turned into a dead end and before she could turn around, the man showed himself. I had to save her! I couldn't be to late! Though I would be forced to break the law and reveal myself, I would save her! I attacked the man called Duke, draining his blood and filling him with my venom as he slowly died - I wanted him to be in pain! I glared at him and the monster that was myself glared back within his wide horrified eyes. For once I didn't care if I was a monster, he had threatened my Isabella! My Isabella? I turned to face Isabella, dropping the now dead predator and licking the blood that dribbled down my chin. I expected to see terror, hatred, fear, - I expected her to be thoroughly repulsed at least and I expected to see the monster in me reflecting of her gorgeous eyes, but nothing prepared me for what I did see.

I found myself staring into the most beautiful warm and sweet chocolate brown orbs, the creature they reflected was strong, stable, just, compassionate and...good, he was a savor, a hero, a soulful person - like Carlisle. That couldn't be me, it'd never been me before, so why did I see that reflecting in her beautiful fawn colored eyes instead? The emotions they portrayed were anything, but terror, hate and anger or fear. There was sadness, compassion, understanding, fascination, admiration, joy, excitement and...love? Love? Love? Love? Love? I could of drowned in here glorious gaze, but her eyes gently closed. She smiled a devilish smile, but there was a sad underside to it.

"Hold your breath Edward,"Her beautiful soft bell like voice sang and I absolutely loved the way it caressed my name! It all excited me. I looked her over. She had a delicate form, with a fragile grace to all of it. Tiny feet and toes, short slender legs, medium sized hip, petite waste, gentle curves, decent breast area, delicate, beautiful, fragile, graceful and bony shoulders and collar bone, decent neck, heart shaped face surrounded by dark machogong curls. Her skin was oddly pale, almost translucent and absolutely beautiful - silk over glass. Everything about her screamed breakable and beauty. Then there was her plump pink lips, begging me to kiss them, thick delicate brown lashes, smooth perfect eye brawls and gorgeous blush. Her smirk grew as if she knew what I was doing. "Your not a monster Edward,"She smiled,"I don't approve of killing, but it is justified. Those murders, criminals and rapist could change one day, whether they do or not they could and that is why they deserve life, because they could change, they could be good. Your the same. I do not see you as bad, not at all, but I'd rather you rejoin Carlisle and Esme. It's better for you."She took a breath"One more thing, remember this Edward, your dangerous, not bad, not evil and defiantly not a monster and you can always be good. Good Bye Edward."

My thoughts had been racing and still were, but one thing was for sure, I didn't want to say bye! She hadn't moved and as soon as inhaled I knew why - she wasn't leaving, not like I'd originally thought anyway, she was her life was ending! I'd been so against yet the monster still took over and I leaped for her. Worse, with unrealistic human speed she stretched her neck out to the side, making it easier for me to sink of my fangs into! I loved the feel of my teeth cutting through the thin silk of her skin and sinking in deep. Even better, the electricity that shot through me as my cold hard marble skin touched the soothing warm silk of hers. Best, was the sweet nectar of her life's blood extinguishing the flames in my throat and filling me with life, energy, strength and power. Her head rested on my shoulder, lips next to my ear, as I drank from her. I clutched her breakable form ruffly, pulling it towards my mouth, pulling it towards me. I pressed her small body into mine, melding it to me, till I heard a wrenched cracking sound and felt her go limp in my grasp, limp into me, but that hardly stop. Guilt began to pass through me, but as I began to pull away, Isabella some how managed to grab me and pull herself to me, she refused to budge and my will was to weak to fight much. Her hand went to my messy bronze hair and began soothingly combing through it - thoroughly distracting me from my guilt and reminding me of all the pleasure. To add to this her voice constantly whispered in my ear stuff like it's okay, Edward, keep going, I'm fine, I love you, your okay, your good, your not a monster, I forgive you, I understand and you have permission, soothing me like a lullaby, though I hardly noticed what she was saying at the time.

Her aroma intoxicated me and whisked me away to a heavenly place. Her taste satisfied and filled me as it soothed the burn, healed the scars and energized me - it was so sweet! It was the best thing in the world! And then there was the music, the call and her soothing voice. I loved the sound of her heart, her breath, her voice and her singing blood. I loved how her heart raced and sped and how her breath became shaky and fast, but in this instance it was wrong. I loved the feel of her hands tangling in my hair, her body on mine - though that was also wrong at the moment - her skin between my teeth, her blood flowing through me and soothing my burns. I was in heaven, or at least the closes to heaven I'd ever be and then as she was nearly dried I realized what I'd done and pulled off her, holding her limp body in front of me! Her hands now limp, she had become silent, her heart faint and desperate, her breath nearly non-exstiant, yet then she spoke in a voice so sweet, so strong and yet so serous and sever"This is my gift to you, Edward, you are cured of the fire of thirst, but you still must feed to keep up your strength. Please return to Carlisle for me and don't feel guilty, Edward. I gave myself to you, I saw something I could give and I gave it, now I am content. I love you and forgive you, it's not your fault,"As she said this her heart picked up and beat strong - strong for me. Same with her breathing. Her eyes connected with mine and I saw the glorious creature I was not reflect back at me. I had broken this sweet innocent giving and self sacrifice angel, I broke her and I could see the pain and turmoil underneath all the love and admiration, I could see the sacrifice, the pain I caused in turn for her gift! Suddenly her hand shot up to my cheek and gently pet it"You are the creature you see reflected in my eyes, that is you, Edward. I am not broken, not at all, besides, their are worse ways to die"She whispered the last part and there was a bit of fear though she tried to hide it, just like the pain, but her eyes revealed it all - good and bad. She spoke as though she had died before, maybe more than once and in a much more painful way. That infuriated me and dread and horror filled me at the mere thought of harm coming to her.

"Shh, shh, Edward, it's okay,"She soothed and I realized I was growling - I stopped. She brang her face closer to me and I leaned down to meet her lips, which I tenderly kissed and the sensation was amazingly soothing, peaceful, warm and soft. When she pulled away, her eyes were sparkling with love, adoration and tears of joy and sadness, no more pain."Till we meet again my dear Edward, you have captured my heart."And then she faded with a faint glimmer, into nothing, but air, like a ghost!

Now...

I had been horrified and disturbed with myself after her...passing, but as I replayed all that had happened in my head, her words set me free. No, I wasn't happy that I'd killed her, not at all, but her words of...forgiveness seemed to lift the burden from my shoulders and even better, her last words gave me...hope. I had no idea how I'd see her again, but she said I would and I couldn't help, but believe her. Before seeing her, I was sure my heart was dead, but now, I knew it wasn't and she would carry it with her - till we meet again. I would see her again! With that I set of to find my parents as she had told me to, replaying the her strong truthful loving words and gentle soft silky lips as I went. I couldn't wait to feel them again!


	2. Chapter 2: Esma'ma's daughter

I'd had no idea where my parents were, but I'd been determined to find them. I'd been ashamed of my self and had feared there disapproval and rejection, but Isabella had wished for me to rejoin them and I'd missed them so much, I'd been so lonely since I killed Isabella, so lonely. I had began my search for my parents in the last home we had lived together in, the place I had abandoned them in without a single real goodbye. There scent was gone and I had no way to track the, so I checked out some past homes and others they had considered, but I couldn't find any trace of them.

Each day of my search I thought of Isabella and are short encounter, each day I felt the hollow ache in my chest at her absence, her non-existing, but the hope and peace she'd given me drove me onwards. I found out exactly what she meant by the gift she'd given me, her blood, love, forgiveness and promise was just the start of it, she had cured me of the fire that came with thirst - I could hover over a bleeding human and have no desire to drink there blood unless I was weak and there never was the accompanying burning. I could be a doctor like my father if I wanted to. Isabella's blood had been so delicious that no other blood could compare - especially no animal blood!

After three weeks or so I had become weak and wanted to drink blood again to get my strengths back up so I had gone to hunt - animals. It was horrible to say the least, the deer's scent had no appeal at all to me, it was appalling, but knowing I had to hunt to keep myself in good shape I went after it. It's blood tasted so foul, but I found out if I remembered the taste of Isabella's blood I could get it down, the problem was that at first my body rejected it and I felt very ill. During that time I got lost in my short memory of her, reviewing every precious moment. When my body finally became accustom to the animal blood I had continued my search.

I finally got the idea to head to Isle Esme, it was my last hope to find them and luckily I did, but I was to much of a coward, despite my determination to go to them. Instead I waited for them to find me at the beach and they did. I'd feared what I might find in there eyes, if I would see a monster or a...man, not human, but man. I was beyond happy to find nothing had changed in the way they looked at me and my eyes were orange. They were so relieved to see me, they thought I'd never come back and I feared they might just be right if I hadn't met Isabella. They had wondered what brang me back and so I told them...

"I killed an innocent girl,"I confessed. Esme was horrified and sad for the girl, but understanding filled her - she had accidentally killed people before. Carlisle hadn't, but he did not think less of me, he wanted to understand the whole story

"What happened?" he wondered. He assumed I had lost control while hunting a murder or reveled us and had to kill her.

"Both of those things happened, but she told me something that changed everything as well."I began.

"What did she say?"Esme pressed, all to curious.

"Well it's easier to start at the beginning if you don't mind?"I pointed out and they nodded" I don't think the girl was normal, but she was human I think or an angel, I'm not sure, but I found out she had sacrificed herself for a girl named Rosalie Hale. Duke - the man who had planned on killing her, had originally been planning to kill Rosalie, but Isabella knew what he was planning and purposefully caught his attention. He followed her instead and I caught his thoughts. I couldn't hear Isabella's thoughts, that was the first weird thing about her, the second was the way she knew what people were thinking, but I don't know how that works or if it's the same as my mind reading."I took a breath.

"Isabella? You knew here name?"Esme asked, Isabella rang a bell for her and she was remembering a lovely little nine year old girl she'd loved to see. I gulped.

"That was her,"I whispered in shock. Beautiful soulful and warm chocolate brown eyes and mahogany hear. Esme was horrified and depressed by that, it was like she'd lost her child all over again.

"She went by Bella,"Esme cried,"She was my neighbor and she visited me every single day, she called me Esma'ma."Esme sobbed.

"I'm sorry,"I cried feeling extremely guilty now.

"What happened?"She asked, curled in Carlisle's chest for support.

"I was determined to save her, she was to good to die, so in the processes I reviled myself. She wasn't afraid at all and when she looked at me she didn't see me as a monster at all. She told me top hold my breath and at the time I didn't know why, but I obeyed. She told me I wasn't a monster, but she didn't approve of me killing and wanted me to rejoin you. She told me those people deserved to live because they could change whether they do or not and so could I"I paused to see there reations'.

"You believed her?"Carlisle was shocked and slightly hurt by the fact I lisioned to a stranger and not him.

"I guess I just needed an outside onion Carlisle,"I shrugged. I'd needed to see the other choices and life's I could live, what was out there for me. My words helped Carlisle recover himself.

"She sent you back to me,"Esme cried with a smile 'she'd promised she'd meet my son one day, she said they would be friends and she would be there for him when he needed her,'

"I want to know more about Bella,"I stated, Esme was surprised.

"Oh, I'll tell you all about her after you finish,"Esme nodded.

"Thank you,"I smiled sadly"She reminded me I could change and said goodbye, but made no move to leave - I didn't want her to leave, so I took a breath to tell her to wait. That's when everything bad happened, I found out why she didn't move and how deep her goodbye was. Yes I attacked her, but she literally handed herself to me. She didn't scream or fight, she actually kept soothing me, saying everything was fine and pet my head. She told me this was her gift to me and at first i hadn't understood what she meant, but I sort of figured it out later on. When I found out what I'd done I released her, but she was already to far gone to live."I had to gather my thoughts for a second.

"You stopped before she died?"Carlisle asked, he was surprised and proud, despite everything.

"Yes,"I sighed"Her heart was faint, her breathing fainter and she was limp in my arms. Then something happened. She spoke with so much strength in her voice it was shocking and her heart and breathing picked up again as though nothing had happened. She told me she'd given me a gift and reminded me to return to you, she said she saw something she could give so she gave it and it was not my fault. She said she was content - what ever that means and when I don't my...goodness and saw how I'd broken her and her pain, she reminded me I wasn't a monster to her and she said she wasn't broken and stroked my cheek - I don't understand how she got that strength, but she did." I paused

"Then she said something really unnerving and strange, she said there are worse way to die as though she'd died before. After soothing me some more..."I hesitated, slightly embarrassed"She kissed me!"I blurted it out and my voice sounded cheerful, to avoid that subject I quickly continued."The last thing she told me I held her heart till we meet again, then she faded into thin air!"

"She faded into thin air?"Carlisle repeated"Like a ghost?"

"Exactly like a ghost!"I exclaimed - all to excited.

"How's that possible?"Carlisle asked.

"I don't know,"I whispered, Carlisle was stunned as was I, but Esme..."Esme,"

"Bella use to have these nightmare's when she fell asleep during her visits, she would often cry out names and mom and dad, and sister and brother. When I asked she said they were people she'd loved in the past that she'd lost and I'd stated, you never had a brother Bella. She replied'Oh, but Esma'ma, I did have a few in my other life's and they were so nice - I caused them sadness when I died. Esma'ma, I'm telling you this because I trust you more than anyone else and you are my true ma'ma, but you can never repeat any of this to anyone. I'm a re-do, that's what we call our self's. What's a re-do I'd asked and she replied a soul that's been used more than once on earth, then she said she wasn't allowed to say more yet."Esme explained"I thought perhaps she made it up because she never brang it up again, even when she called out the names. I found out that she'd told her mother it was her imaginary friends and family, she'd said nothing about re-do's."

She sighed"Bella never feared her own death, she never cried out in her pain - not even when she broke her arm climbing a tree. She always insisted she'd had worse. Yet she completely panicked when some one else was in danger or got hurt. She wasn't like a child, she was to wise, to selfless and to caring."

"Did you ever find out more on re-do's?"Carlisle asked.

"No, I tried, but the closest I ever got to a re-do was doppelganger."Esme replied.

"What's a doppelganger?"I pressed.

"It's basically a look a like, but there's a lot of different definitions. None said anything about coming back to life or powers. I also researched past life's, but there was very little information, mostly dreams and stuff."Esme sighed.

After a five minutes of silence and thought Carlisle spoke"I believe we will be seeing this Bella again,"

Now...

Bella had become a constant topic in our little family and me and Esme thought about her all the time, which meant so did Carlisle. She was the ghost of are family, always there, yet not. Esme had a lot of memories of Bella and I loved to lison and watch them. I was truly in love with Bella.

I learned that Esme had been best friends with her mother, who happened to be a young waitress named Oma Marie Oxenson, she was a friendly sweet and hard working woman that couldn't just sit still for even a second. She loved little kids and especially girls and seemed much like Esme. Her husband, Hubert Anthony Oxenson - it was strange that we shared a middle name - was a lawyer like my biological father had been and absolutely loathed Charles, he was always trying to get Esme away from him and he was very kind to her - they were friends. Hubert was always kind, gentle and caring, he absolutely adored his three daughters and was a good father, but often away working. He was a gentleman.

Bella had a older sister - two years older, who was very selfish, cruel and loathing. She wanted all the attention and was a daddy's girl. Esme had still loved her, but she wasn't her favorite in anyway - she considered her Bella's opposite. When she'd told Bella, Bella had insisted her older sister Diana, simply missed there father all the time and was brooding because of it, but she was a good and caring strong girl. Diana was often very cruel to her other sisters, especially Bella because they took away her attention, especially from there daddy. Bella never got angry with her sister for hurting her, but Diana had quickly learned you don't mess with Bella's loved ones. Despite all of Diana's cruelty towards Bella, she always went to her when upset and Bella was always there. Diana was glad to know she was one of Bella's loved ones even though she bullied her and Bella also adored her. As Diana got older, she was less cruel and more accepting and friendly towards her sisters and Bella and her hung out together as good friends.

Though Bella favored no sister, she was closer and more caring to Chelsey her six years younger baby sister. Chelsey was always extremely cheerful, a little bucket of joy. She was sweet, caring, kind, loved animals and would never hurt a fly. Bella was constantly looking after her and she even fought with Oma over feeding and changing her.

Esme had known the Oma since she her own childhood, but had lost contact for a few years - besides notes and didn't meet Bella till she was six in 1917 when they became neighbors. Esme was glad to be reunited with her childhood best friend and finally meet her family. She loved them all, but had a special connection with Bella and they were extremely close. Bella had once told Esme that a child and adult could be best friends and that children offered a special view point that many grown ups had forgotten, it was usually innocent pure and untampered with. They could be naive, but still offered a nice view of the world Bella had explained. Esme asked if she had the view point of a child or an adult and Bella had shrugged, her simple reply was both.

Esme was told that Bella had talked at within five months and had only ever cried when Diana did - she'd been a very quite and strange baby. It taken forever for her to crawl and walk, but she always tried and never complained about her failure or injuries. At age four she'd become an expert tree climber. She struggled to walk, but was amazing at tree climbing and talking, reading and writing. Apparently she knew how to read and write most words at three. She could cook and clean by four and at age five she had started making breakfast everyday for everyone and had taken over the house - it was always clean. She also helped with dinner and lunch.

When Esme met six year old Bella she'd been making dinner and visiting with baby Chelsey while her mother cleaned and Diana play outside with her father - that had really surprised Esme, but Oma simply laughed and said she couldn't stop Bella from cooking and cleaning. Bella had ran over and hugged Esme before introducing herself and welcoming her then ran back to the kitchen. That surprised Oma because apparently Bella shied from physical contact with strangers. Esme was instantly very fond of Bella and adored Cheerful Chelsey.

Esme ended up being there babysitter since Oma would rather that than daycare or them home alone. The girls did go to school, but often ended up with Esme and they were never around Charles, no one would allow that, so they were often in there home rather than Esme's. Bella visited Esme everyday, even when her father and mother were home. She was like a daughter to Esme. When Esme was beaten by Charles Bella would switch into caretaker mode instead though and like her father insisted Esme leave him despite her parents will, but Esme couldn't leave Bella and Oma and the girls. Bella was the only one of the girls that ever saw Charles and that was because of her persistence and determination to visit Esme. She had been beaten three times defending Esme, but only two of those cases were sever. Esme hated that Bella had gotten hurt, but due to it Charles was locked away for a while, but he came back, just like he came back from the war. The most sever time he'd beaten Bella, Esme hadn't been there and he'd nearly killed her - he'd sweared that Bella dared him to. She'd demanded he stop hurting Esme and he'd tried to put Bella in her place, her being a little girl outside the family, but he couldn't break her spirit and even as he'd heard the snap of her arm she showed no sign of pain. I had never hated someone as much as I hated Charles or Duke and it was because they hurt my Bella!

A week before Esme knew she was pregnant Bella had told her and said that she would leave for the sake of her baby son and not return, but she also told her that her son and her would be good friends then and that she would see Esme again one day. Before Esme left Bella and her had become closer than ever and spent every spare moment together. Esme had never understood Bella's odd wisdom, care and selflessness, but she didn't have to, she knew what Bella said was true and that was all there was to it - Bella was her daughter. I hadn't noticed her before, but I realized Esme had thought of here quite a lot and purposefully tried not to because she missed Bella to much. When I told her of Bella I had given her confirmation and hope for the future of seeing her long lost daughter and now she was able to remember without pain or sadness. The family was always excited and hopeful now. We were going to live in New York where Bella had died in hopes she may be reborn there.


	3. Chapter 3: Rose Becoming

I'd been happy, extremely happy and at peace. I knew now where I belonged and what was waiting for me in the future. I had hope. Something to look forward to. I had a life again! So I tackled high school in New York with new found spirit and even made a couple of human friends - Jerry, Henry and Gabriel. Jerry was a comedian and occasional flirt, but tended to be rather shy around girls, he was a caring and kind guy. Henry was a writer and reader, he absolutely loved books with an intense passion, he dated a few girls, but tended to be more of the silent reclusive type, prefer to only stick with his closest friends, but he was wise, smart, kind and patient too - before I came her you went to him for advice and tutoring. Henry and Jerry had been best friends since they were kids, but Gabriel had only known them for a few years. Gabriel often got on my nerves, he was a a big time dater and flirt. He could also be very rood and a bully, but underneath he was kind and caring. I hung with them at school and occasionally out of it.

I had really taken Bella's wisdom to heart and even applied it to my mind reading, I learned that even though some one may think something, it doesn't mean there going to do it, so I let there actions influence my opinion more. I still couldn't stand some mind!

Esme and Carlisle were beyond happy and are family was perfect! Everything was perfect and bright! I had written several new songs inspired mostly, the one I played most often was Meet Again and Renewed.

Then Rosalie Hale came into the picture! The stupid, selfish and vain girl my Bella had given her life for! I don't know why, but I simply hated Rose. I hated her for her vanity, I hated her for her selfishness, I hated her for her stupidity, I hated her because Bella took her place that night and died by me, I hated her because she was damaged, I hated her because she was hurt and in pain, because she took revenge and my parents let her, because she was taking my parents, because I had to share, because we had to move early because of her, because she hated me and because...she reminded me...of me.

Yes, Rosalie stood for all that I despised within myself and past, she served as a reminder. A reminder of what it was like to be a murder and only know hate. A reminder of before I had hope and a life. A reminder of past pain.

She was damaged much as I had been. She was lost. She was angry and she was hateful. She didn't want to be a vampire, not at all. She was also strong and good at resisting human blood much as I'd been in the beginning. I hated her because despite Bella's sacrifice she still got destroyed. So why had Bella saved her? What purpose did it serve? Rose brought everything back up and I blamed her because it was easy - that made me hate me again though. I missed Bella, the girl I barely new or understood. The girl I'd hardly seen and hadn't said a word to. The girl I killed. The girl I loved and needed. I missed her!

Esme tried to make us get along, but she understood our emotions of hate better than we did. She teased me and said I was being a Diana and so was Rose, but none of us told her about Bella. We thought about her still, but the spirit of Bella was now gone from our house and it was all because of Rose! I remember what Esme had told me earlier today during are hunt...

'You hate Rose because you understand, Edward,'Esme thought.

"It's more than that Esme, she hates me and she's so vain and selfish."I argued

'Because she's angry and in pain and Bella wouldn't want her to be,'Esme pointed out.

She was right, I hated her because she was in pain, despite Bella's efforts and sacrifices and I understood that pain and didn't fix it. That made me feel bad. "She brings up the past"I sighed.

'You should try and help her Edward, you won't feel good until you do and The hope and joy of Bella won't return,'Esme continued.

"Maybe your right, but she's just so damaged and determined to stay that way,"I breathed"I'm not Bella,"

'Of coarse you not son, no one, but Bella is, but you are Edward and Bella saw something within you, remember that,'Esme reminded me all to proud.

"How would I help her?"I questioned.

'Make her feel welcome, be nice and friendly, and quite seeing all the bad in her Edward!"Esme demanded.l

"Okay,"I had finally agreed.

Now...

Bella had seen something in Rose, something worth saving. She had given her life up for Rose, just like me. Esme saw it to. I would be nice and welcome Rose.

"Hi Rosalie,"I greeted her with a genuine smile.

"Oh, your actually calling me by name for once,"She rolled her eyes,"What's got you so happy?"

I shrugged,"Just thinking of an old friend,"

"What old friend?"Rose pressed.

'the one who saved your life before Carlisle,' I mentally hissed.

"A deceased one,"I grumbled back.

"Then why's it so nice to remember, your friend,"Rose hesitated 'I bet it was a girl he liked,'

"Yes it was a girl I liked, but I hadn't known her long,"I sighed at the memory this time.

"Get out of my head!"Rose hissed.

"Sorry, I can't help it,"I said as politely as I could and bit back the retort 'It's not like I like your mind,'

"Rose,"I began only to be interrupted.

"Don't call me that,"Rose cut in,'only my friends get to call me that.'

"Sorry, I hope we can one day be friends, but I wanted to apologize for my recent behavior. I've been very rude and unwelcoming."I apologized.

"Why?"Rose asked.

"Because your in pain, you don't like me and...you remind me of my own pain and troubles,"I admitted - I wasn't going to say she was selfish and petty or go into detail.

"I remind you your not perfect,"Rose smirked.

"Yes,"I shrugged it off,"I hope we can be friends in the future,"

And we had became friends. I was surprised how much I managed to help Rose. One, I listened - whether I wanted to or not. She'd told me everything and with my ability I saw it perfectly - I understood. It had hurt to see Rose's pain, it had also hurt to see Esme's pain, but it mad me feel so good to be there and help Rose. It made me feel like a better person.

Rose and me were best sister and brother - I still hadn't told her about Bella though. Rose told me everything - being able to read minds meant she had to! Rose was good at hiding her thoughts, especially when we were enemies and she was incredibly stubborn, but now that we were friends, she could never keep anything from me. Rose liked knowing I'd always be there for her to fall back on and talk to - I would never leave her. I made her feel safe, secure and stable in her weakest moments.

Yes, Rose was selfish, petty and often spiteful, but underneath she was sweet, caring, defensive, and sensitive. When it really counted, you could count on her. She wasn't very friendly at first and anything, but welcoming - she hated change! But once you got through the thick thorns, you could see what Bella saw.

Me and Rose played board games - such as chess - but Rose got angry at my ability to always cheat - not my fault - so most of are games were by chance games. Sometimes we roughhoused or raced, but most of the time we just talked, hung together and did our own thing. When we entered high school Rose stuck to my side and avoided all guys, yet still liked the attention. I didn't like it - I was protective of Rose and there thoughts were not appropriate towards her. Girls annoyed me for crushing on my looks, they annoyed me more by there spite towards Rose's looks. I hadn't managed to make any friends my first year - due to Rose's aggression towards strangers, especially boys. Though after Rose settled into the retinue I managed to make one friend, a shy boy who use to be bullied, his name was Rufus Howardson. He feared Rose, but after a while, Rose had taken pity on him and was fairly kind to him. She actually set him up with this one intelligent, decent minded pretty girl named Ariana Francis. They quickly ended up happily married and I felt good for helping yet another person.

It had only been two years since Rose's transformation and now there was another transformation taking place. Rose had stumbled a cross a man in the woods while hunting, he was being mauled by a bear. His face reminded her of her best friend's child and she just had to save him. I understood and I was trying to be supportive, but I hated the changing process and I could feel his pain due to my mind reading powers. I went for a run. Esme had worried i wouldn't accept the guy named Emmett, but I insisted I just couldn't stand his pain or transformation.

Emmett ended up being the perfect child for Esme and Rose. He was a fun brother to. He had a very childish mind and spirit. He loved to play fight all the time and I never felt guilty for reading his mind because he always said what he was thinking - especially when it came to Rose. He called Rose his angel and was always happy to be with her. I didn't like being around him and Rose, it made me jealous and miss my Bella. I trusted Emmett because I knew how much he really loved Rose, but instead of feeling like I gained a brother, I felt like I lost my sister. Now she had Emmett to take care of her and be her friend. They were always together and I no longer had a companion to distract me from my lonely nights. I did compose a few more songs, but that didn't make up for anything.

At least Emmett brought his fun spirit to high school with us and when him and Rose weren't making out, he made the time go by quicker with his jokes. I did make a few more high school friends over the years, but with Emmett, I didn't want them as much. Besides, Emmet scared them all off.

 **In this story Esme and Carlisle don't worry about hooking Edward up with someone because they have hopes Bella will come back, so Rose and Edward never had that awkward beginning.**


	4. Chapter 4: Close Calls

**Sorry if the end of this chapter is a little rushed, but I promise you the next one will be amazing!**

Me and Emmett had gone hunting for bears - a brotherly bonding trip. We'd ended up play fighting a lot and were now racing back - though I always one. Then I caught a strange scent and stopped, Emmett sped a head and into the house.

"Rose?"Emmett called, he'd expected to be welcomed by her with a kiss, as always. Through his mind I could hear the voices, a strange female and male, but I couldn't hear what they were saying and they all went silent after Emmett spoke.

"One second babe,"She answered. I ran over Emmett. I was unsure what was going on, but I didn't like it. Then I read there minds...

'I hope Edward doesn't freak out when they tell him who sent them here. I hope he likes his new brother and sister too - there so sweet.'Esme thought.

'Why's everyone so interested in this Bella chick, - who is she?'Rose thought.

'Me and Edward are going to be best friends after he freaks out about us knowing Bella,'strange female thought.

'I don't like the tension around here, is it safe for me and Alice?'the male thought.

'Edward please don't freak out,'Carlisle asked.

Bella, Bella, Bella, my thoughts began to center around here. Alice and her mate I assume, know Bella! I ignored the other thoughts.

"Bella, you know Bella,"I whispered. No mental answer!

Rose came down the stairs holding hands with the little pixie girl named Alice. They were smiling and looked like best friends already."This is Alice, our new sister," Rosalie's rarely ever welcoming, it must be because she wanted a sister to shop with instead of dragging me around. No more shopping!

"Hello pixie sis,"Emmett gave her a bear hug, then slapped me on my back,"Say hello to our knew sister Eddie,"

"You know I don't like it when you call me that Emmett,"I growled,"Hi Alice, it's nice to meet you,"What do you know about Bella?

Next Carlisle, Esme and Jasper came down the stairs as well. "that's Jasper, my mate."Alice chirped.

"Hi bro,"Emmett called.

"Hi jazz,"I greeted.

'That's the guy Bella was obsessed with? I wounder why? Wait, she said he was a mind reader - ops. Sorry,'Jasper thought.

He knew Bella, he knew my Bella? Bella's obsesses with me?! I was all to happy and excited.

"Where's Bella?"I asked. My two new siblings shared a look, but it was there thoughts that sent me into despair. Bella was gone again, she tried to come, but now she's gone. I slumped to the floor. I barely heard and made out the conversation around me.

"Who's Bella?"Rose growled.

"Well Rose, Bella is sort of a mystery girl, but she was just a little girl when I met her and I babysat her and her sisters. Bella was like a daughter to me. She said some strange things about past lives, being a re-do, and being best friends and helping my future son. Little did I know at the time she meant Edward. I had to leave because of my biological son, but he died and so I became depressed and jumped of a cliff. Carlisle saved me and we became a family, me, Edward and Carlisle."Esme began.

"A few years later, Edward left us to try the regular vampire diet, but he used his ability to hunt down bad people only. He followed a man who was planning on harming her and ended up killing her himself. It was a very strange encounter, she sort of invited him to kill her and told him to go back to us. She said she'd see us again and that she forgave him. She was Edwards singer as well. Now I guess were waiting for her to return some how."

"I don't understand,"Rose said,"Alice and Jasper said Bella sent them here and Alice's visions."

"Have you heard of the southern battles and newborn armies?"Jasper asked.

"A little bit,"Emmett admitted.

"Well, I was created by a female vampire named Maria to help run her army, my gift to manipulate and feel emotions served her well. I had convinced her to keep one new born named Peter, he was my friend. Three years after he was created, a new batch of new borns came in. Bella was turned at age 20, 1931. She refused to drink human blood on our first hunt and I was instantly intrigued. I asked her what she wanted to drink then and she said mountain lion. I asked her when she'd drank mountain lion blood and she said in a past life. She ended up showing me how to live on animal blood. She was my best friend and my little sister. She was best friends with a new born Charlotte, Peter's love and we kept them away from the others. Then we left for the north where there weren't any wars - at least that's what Bella said and she was right. We soon parted from Peter and Charlotte."

"Bella didn't tell me much about her 'past lives', but she did tell me about her first one. She was originally born in 1616, September 13. She had a very sad life until she became a vegetarian six years old immortal child. It's all very unbelievable, but I believe her. She said she was a re-do, a soul that has lived on earth more than once and because of this she was a mental shield, could see peoples souls and get brief visions of the persons future. That's how she lead me to Alice."

"She was always talking about this mind reading vampire named Edward Cullen that she wanted to be reunited with after we found what we were looking for - Alice. She never said how she met him or that it was so gruesome, just that he was her mate and she loved him. We had finally found where you Cullens were and then she disappeared. We tried to track her, but we found a note that said 'Re-do's are meant to be secret creatures, I only let you and the Cullens in on it because one day were going to be a big happy family. The Volturi has seen me before remember, they can never see me again. You and Alice are powerful vampires and must go to the Cullens before the Volturi catches you!'"

The Volturi! I've always hated the Voltui and now I hate them more. I was dazed after that and the next thing I knew was Rosalie in my face.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Bella!? I thought we told each other everything! I guess it was just me then!"She hissed then ran to her room followed by Emmett. I shook my head.

"I'm going to have to go talk to her once she cools down,"I sighed. When Rose was angry it was impossible to talk to her, but if you let her cool down to long it was impossible to change her mind or get her to forgive her. I looked around. The other were still exchanging theories on re-do's.

"Jasper, would you please tell me about Bella's first life?"I asked.

"Sorry Edward, but Bella wanted to tell you that herself,"Jasper smirked.

"She also wanted to tell you all about her time with me and Jasper - were not aloud to tell you anything."Alice added with a giggle. I glared.

"And how's that fair?"I questioned.

"It's not,"Alice chirped,"Were going to be best friends!"

Alice and me did become best friends. Her and Jasper understood me in a way the others couldn't, we all had powers. We called it a curse and a blessing - it was both, but we all had that connection. Jasper never got over the scent of human blood so I no longer had human friends, but with my siblings and I that was fine. I did make up with Rose and I told her everything - except that Bella took her place, she thought it was all very strange. Rose was jealous of me and Alice's relationship, she wanted to be my favorite and best sister, but really I loved them each in different ways for different things and they were both my favorite sisters. Despite Rose's jealousy, Alice and her were best sisters and did everything together. Since I was the loner in my family and my mysterious mate hadn't joined us yet I often joined them on there shopping trips and boy talks though I thought it slightly silly. I still had fun with them and then there were my brothers. We were always play fighting and Jasper taught us a few of his moves, though I could just pick them out of his head. Now they both called me a cheater because of my mind reading.

We always laughed about the first day. Alice had decided my room was the best, so she took it. She wouldn't tell me anything about Bella or think anything about her and nor would Jasper. Rose had attacked me twice before cooling down and destroyed my new room before I could even step foot in it. Then Alice stepped in and took Rosalie shopping. Me, Emmett and Jasper ended up having a huge battle for fun and then all got grounded by Esme. After a week things had settled pretty well, Esme fixed my room and everything else we broke. I had fixed things with Rose by the third day and then we all became best friends.

Years later I was visiting Chicago and saw her, Bella! I slowly made my way through the crowd and remembered to be cautious of her scent.

"Bella?"I called, she turned around, her brawls furrowed in confusion.

"I'm sorry, who our you?"Her sweet voice called.

"You don't remember me?"I asked stunned - Bella didn't remember me. That hurt.

"I'm sorry,"She repeated, her voice truly sorry,"What's your name?"

"Edward Cullen,"I replied hopeful.

"I don't recall an Edward Cullen, but my name is Bella. Where did we meet?"She pressed.

"Um..."What can I say?"In the park,"I figured that sounded reasonable.

"Oh,"Bella replied.

"So where are you going now?"I wondered, her eyes glazed over slightly and she seemed so sad.

"My sister May is sick, I was going to work at the dinner so I could afford medicine."She shook her head, then sighed under her breath,"She never lives, I wish she would just become a vampire and live with me forever,"Then she looked back up at me and covered her mouth."I have to go!"

Then she left me in shock. I went back home and told my family about the encounter. Jasper and Alice instantly understood and finally told me a few things . Bella's parents died coming to America and she was adopted by her best friends father. Her best friend became her sister May and they promised to make it through life together, but May died. She promised Bella they would be together in another life, but that hasn't happened yet. The only easy lives Bella ever had were as a vampire. May had never had a life as a vampire though.

So that life is not for me. When will she come back to me?


	5. Chapter 5: Twilight Begins

**Well her come some dates! I hope Edward's recollection helps explain what he thinks and knows, but he could be wrong!**

It's been 45 years since I last saw any sign of Bella and 75 years since I met her.

Bella was originally born September 13, 1616 according to Jasper. I wondered how many lives she'd lived, how many people she loved and how many promises she made. Would I ever see her again? Did she love anyone else? Had she changed her mind about me? Where was she and how old was she now?

She was reborn September 13, 1911 according to Esme. I killed her in 1928.

Yet, Jasper said she was turned at age twenty in 1931 - three years after I killed her. It's an impossibility, yet I know that it was her, my Bella.

I have a theory on that. I know I drank Bella to the brink of death and there was no way she could of survived. Though there was no corpse to bury, she disappeared like a ghost! After reading many doppelganger stories I realized that was a common thing. One definition of doppelganger is ' apparitions of people that occur in impossible situations. ' This lead me to believe Bella had become some sort of physical apparition that was able to seem alive and changed her image with age and transformation, but was not truly living. I have no idea what her limitations would be, but apparently she could hunt and kill other creatures in that state - according to Jasper. It's a unbelievable theory, but absolutely nothing was believable about Bella and this also explained her disappearance without a trace.

In 1959, I saw her and she had no clue who I was. My theory is that when she's reborn she forgets everything until it is reveled in her dreams.

In 1959, Bella had been 17 again. That means she was reborn in 1942, so what happened between the time she disappeared and was reborn? Nine years of mystery in between and I have no clue what she did. I knew very little of what Bella did after the encounter in 1959.

When Bella didn't recognize me, I was crushed to say the least. I'd been so hopeful for just a few minutes before I realized my Bella wasn't coming yet. So I left her there and didn't look back - I wanted to though. I began worrying she would never come and researching her slash what she was and anything related. I found out her last life that I knew of ended in 1961, she became ill like her sister and passed. I felt so guilty, like I could've stopped it and saved both of them! I could've given Bella what she wanted - a happy life with her sister! Yet I'd been so selfish! Bella had given me so much in just a few moments, yet when I had the chance to give her something, I fled!

Esme had begun to worry as well, but mostly about me. Since my last encounter with Bella, I'd become depressed, obsessed and aggravated. I rarely played music now, I didn't talk with my siblings to get time to pass during high school or as I'd begun to call it purgatory, and I never played with them either. I'd been worse before, so she wasn't to worried, but I was still bad.

I sat at my lunch table with my siblings surrounding me. Alice had just finished trying to comfort Jasper, who was struggling with our diet. Why was he even pressing himself like this? Jasper should just accept his limits.

Bella's POV

Today I would finally see my dear Edward again! I would get a chance to be whole! I had waited an additional seventeen years to come of age - as I called it and make sure my mother in this life had someone to care for her.

I felt terrible about me and Edward's last encounter. I mean I it must of crushed him that in that life I didn't know him, but it was also a test. Me and May had chosen Chicago for a reason, no matter what Edward would go there and see me when I became 17. I wanted to see if my scent would make him kill me or if he could resist - he had resisted. Though I wished he had stayed. It was better this way I kept reminding myself. I'm ready now. I only hope he is to and that he returns my emotions.

I walked into the cafeteria with a girl named Jessica at my side. She was only being my friend to get popularity, but I didn't mind and she wasn't a horrible person. When we sat down I smiled at the Cullen family all together - it was how it was suppose to be! To get Edward's attention I asked Jessica "Who are they?"

Edward's POV

'Edward Cullen,'A voice called and naturally I looked to see who, but it took me a second to realize it was a thought. Then my eyes met her warm familiar chocolate brown ones - Bella? I could see the love and adoration in her eyes and knew she had finally come for me! Suddenly arms were pinning me to my seat - Ops. Bella waved and I grinned back like a happy go lucky lunatic. Then I heard the owner of the first thought 'What!? Edward Cullen smiling over Bella?! What's wrong with the world, that makes no sense what so ever! I mean I''m twice as pretty as she is!' I let out a low growl and glared at Bella's friend - Bella simply shrugged and giggled. Bella was strange, she knew things, she must know Jessica's not a good friend. Wounder why she's friends with her then.

I refocused on Bella, my love, my mate and my mystery girl, waiting to be solved. It would probably be better if I hunted before talking to her though, but what if she disappeared!?

"Bella will be here tomorrow as well, so you don't need to worry about here disappearing again."Alice reassured me and Jasper.

"How do you know that?"I asked without looking away.

"Because she's the only blank space in my vision and I look for the blank area."Alice replied,"It's hard, but possible and I see a blank tomorrow."

"Oh, she's in your biology class,"Alice said.

That caught my attention and I looked back at her,"But I'm not ready to be around her, I need to hunt!"

"It'll be fine Edward, she's defiantly here tomorrow,"Alice reassured me. I turned back to Bella, but she was looking away now - eating most likely.

"Let's go,"Rose sighed.

So I went to my class, sat down and waited. I remembered her scent of coarse and I been able to stand it then - I would stand it today to! I caught the thoughts of her friend Angela - a good friend - who was walking her to class instead of the stupid Newton kid. I looked up to see Bella's surprised gaze - she hadn't know I'd be here apparently, I thought she knew everything. I found myself smirking. She smiled and rolled her eyes before shooting me a worried glance and frowning. She quickly got her paper signed and came over to sit. She looked at me apologetically as my monster tried to surface. I would of smiled to reassure her, but I couldn't.

It was a long miserable and painful hour to say the least. I was sitting next to the mysterious love of my existence and all I could do was not kill her. I wanted to say so much, I had so many questions and I wished to feel her silky skin as I once did. Yet at the moment I couldn't do any of those things - it was so irritating! At least I could see her - my Bella! She was finally here! That's all that mattered. When the class ended I had to flee. Her scent was way to good and I couldn't stand it any longer, but it hurt so much to leave her.

I sat in my car and listened to some music to calm me. After a while I saw Bella enter the office with a tiny slip and head to a rust old truck, then my family arrived and we headed home in silence, but there thoughts were loud. Alice was excited to see her best friend was finally back. She was planning shopping trips and parties for them and remembering how Bella hated shopping. She would just force her as always. I thought it was very funny. Jasper wanted to catch up with his beloved little sister that he'd missed so much and loved to talk to. Jasper and Bella's relationship was like me and Rose's. Speaking of Rose, she was annoyed by Bella, the mystery girl that everyone was so excited to see and meet. She was jealous, but she also wanted answers to who and what Bella was. I would have to talk to Rose before they meet. Emmett was simply curious and wanted to meet the famous Bella. He liked how excited everyone was - especially ' grumpy Eddie'. Annoying brother!

I was the first out of the car and into the house."Esme, Bella's back!"I cheered like Alice, who was dying from laughter much like Emmett. Jasper was simply smirking and Rose was stopping upstairs to her room. Esme hugged me and cheered, "She's back, Bella's back Edward?"

"Yes,"I sighed and I knew if we could, we would both be crying.

"Where is she?"Esme asked.

"Um...at school. We didn't really get to talk to her today since we hadn't hunted and all, but she recognized us and waved from across the cafeteria."I replied,"Alice see's a blank - meaning Bella, tomorrow too. She's going to our school, but I'm sure she'd love to visit our home,"I grinned.

"Well you all better go hunting then,"Esme shewed us off. I smiled.

"Let's go Jasper, Alice,"I walked to the door.

"What about me!?"Emmett complained.

"You have to reason with Rose,"I grinned with a shrug and then took off. Jasper and Alice quickly followed - Alice squealing behind and Jasper chuckling. ' Nice Edward,' he thought, 'very nice.'

After killing a few dear, we began to head back."Wait, I just got here and your already done!"Emmett shouted in front of us, Rose beside him smacked the back of his head.

"Sorry Em,"I grinned.

"Yep, were all done,"Alice added.

"Bye Em,"Jasper was also grinning as we left. "He's so going to get you back for that Edward,"

"And I'm not going to help you avoid him,"Alice chimed.

I shrugged,"Don't need it Alice,"I waved her off and she glared at me.

"I'm not so sure I like happy go lucky Edward,"She pouted and me and jasper laughed. We quickly greeted Carlisle and Esme then went to get ready for school. We were all eager to see Bella, but no one was happier than me!


	6. Chapter 6: Explanation-Part 1

**This will be a very long chapter and it's divided into two parts. You will be seeing a lot off Bella's history and she will exsplian many things about herself and re-dos. Hope you enjoy!**

My siblings had headed for the building - they knew I should be the first to talk to my Bella. Jasper really didn't understand are connection or love, but that didn't mean he couldn't see and feel it. We barely knew each other, yet we couldn't be happy away from each other either. Alice totally got it and she helped Jasper understand. Bella was my future, my heaven and life - now she was here. Emmett and Esme didn't think into it to deeply, they wanted me to be happy and have some one and Bella was perfect for me. Carlisle was glad, but couldn't stop wondering about what Bella was. Rose was...conflicted to say the least. Like any little sister she wanted me to be happy, but also didn't want to lose me. She felt I was leaving her for Bella. She also didn't like the fact I thought Bella was prettier than her. She was jealous and wary of Bella. Bella was new and strange, a mystery and she hadn't earned Rose's approval yet. It was understandable for the most part.

"Edward?"An angels bell like voice rang, it was barely a whisper yet still quite beautiful and sweet. My head turned in an instant and I was staring at my angel next to a rust old truck.

"My Bella,"I breathed in awe. She motions with one hand, for me to come to her, but cations me a second later. Her face is serious, sad and excited, as is the air. If I were able to be around her without being a danger I would run right over to her and take her in my arms, but I can't for so many reasons and that fills the air with a tense anticipation on both side as well as a serious atmosphere. This makes me sad, but I know that Bella is sadness goes deeper than mine. She's sad because I'm in pain around her, because she wants to say so much, and because she's waited even longer than I have whether I always remember or not.

I take a deep breath, filling my throat with a sweet devious fire, but that's okay, I can handle it. Nearly eighty years without it and now it is a stranger, but A little pain after a century of bliss will do no harm. My progress is unbearably slow, five feet, deep breath, repeat. All the while Bella is as still as a statute, minus her breathing and quickening heart beat. Yes, that is the rhythm I've been waiting to hear for ages and this time it is right. She's not scared, I don't know if anything really does scare her to be honest, but right now she is simply excited. Five more steps, one more breath and I'm there! My Bella is less than a foot away her sweet scent envelopes me, but rather than tempting the monster, it takes me to a past time, Bella's sweetest words and our precocious kiss. I unconsciously lean in, closer to her warmth - I can feel the heat coming of her in waves. I want to touch her, to feel her, to taste her lips and hold her. My monster is fading and for the most part I just feel love, the love that flows between us. Her warm chocolate eyes are fixed on mine and in them I can see a god like creature reflected, he is holly and righteous with a sort of glow highlighting him. That is all that reflects in her eyes, all that she sees - me, but I have never been that good, I'm not what she sees.

"Always so stubborn and down casting, aren't you? I've missed you so much, you know? I can't wait for our life to finally start. I love you Edward."Bella's voice was soft and sweet, but serious and sever - truthful. She cautiously lifted her hand to my cheek and gently caressed it. A uncalled for purr like rumbling vibrated up from my chest and I quickly grabbed her hand and put it to my lips, kissing and sniffing it, loving the flavor and scent. My eyes had closed and when I opened them, releasing her palm I was met with her inquisitive, yet trusting gaze and even more, there was love, admiration, anticipation, and longing. So much longing...

I took a step closer, kissing her forehead deeply and tucking her warm frail figure into mine."Mine, my love, my little mystery, your finally here and now I'm going to solve you and keep you forever,"I growled into her hair. She was mine - forever!

"Mind if we skip a few classes?"She hummed into my chest.

"Not at all my dear,"I smiled, before pulling away to her side and grabbing her hand. She was slightly shocked by the sudden lack of contact and let out a delicate huff as I began to lead her to the woods right next to the school.

"I'm sorry I couldn't recognize you last time we met up, it wasn't because you weren't important or I forgot about you - how could I?" Bella wondered.

"We had only met once before that and I killed you,"My voice broke on the last half.

"You just don't get it do you Edward?"She shook her head,"All you feel for me, I feel for you and maybe more. You have no idea how long I've waited for you - I thought I'd never find love, but then I saw you and I knew we were mates, soul mates if you will."She blushed and sighed. Soul?

"Do you think I have a soul?"I wondered out loud.

"Yes Edward, I know for a fact you have a soul."She laughed casually,"There you go again, down casting yourself."We entered the woods and I walked her over to a log where we could sit. When we arrived I sat her facing me on my lap and smiled.

"How do you know?"I asked. I doubted nothing she said, not even this. My earlier belief had weakened since I met her and now it was just a tiny fear.

"I have lived many lives Edward, I have died many deaths. I'm part spirit. I can see a persons soul when I look into there eyes and sometimes I even catch glimpses of there future or thoughts."She began,"Vampires are often...damaged in many ways, they destroy there own spirit and become wild or savage, animalistic. Still they were once human and share the same kind of soul. Vampires can become re-dos just like me, but they tend to chose to forget everything."

"You can read peoples minds!?"I asked in shock.

"Not exactly,"she laughed,"I only get bits and pieces, nothing coherent, it's more like a feel of what there thinking. Like the plot to a story, but not the actual book. I also see fragments of there personality and as I said earlier there future or rather destiny."

Something about the way she added destiny made it feel important, but I had no idea what she meant."Alice said the future isn't set in stone, we can change it and our minds?"I stated it as a question.

"That's true, but somethings are meant to be and happen - nothing can change them. The way we get to them still can change though. Like we were all destine to be together as a family, me and you, Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Emmett, and Jasper and Alice. Jasper could've attacked Alice or Rose may of died, but for the most part, it was destine."She smiled contently, almost seeming tired and leaned back against me.

"Did you see my destiny?"I wondered, she bobbed her head to say yes."What did you see?"

"Another piece of the puzzle,"She giggled. I tilted my head and she sensed my confusion."You know of my Esma-ma, right?"

"Yes,"I chuckled. Esma-ma, what a strange name Bella gave Esme.

"She was the first piece of the puzzle I got. Destinies are connected and the more people you see that share a part in each other's destiny, the clearer the picture is. In Esma-ma I saw a family, one that would truly be mine...forever, one I could keep and wouldn't lose. I hadn't known I would find love in that family or that they would all be vampires, I didn't even know how large it would be. You were really just blurs and a feeling."Bella and I both chuckled at that,"The more I was with her, the more I understood and the clearer the picture got. For example, I hadn't really realized Esma-ma would be my true mother in the begging, all I saw was a beaten soul that called to my own very strongly. I quickly got a flick of Charles and the unpleasant and depressing feelings - no love. I wanted to hug away those feelings and shield her, protect her and so I did - it may sound silly, but I was a child,"Bella shrugged and held back a chuckle as I laughed out loud.

"Then I saw her bright future and family, something so beautiful and warm - I longed for it, but it made me so happy to know she would have such a sweet family. It took me a while to realize I was her daughter, I was part of that family, but I had already started calling her Esma-ma, the only difference was that I then knew she was MY Esma-ma. That was the main picture so it took me a while to see more, but when I did, I wasn't to happy. Anyway's there were a few times that I managed to see when Charles would beat her, only about five I could prevent."Bella's voice was gloomy and detached, ghostly. I could feel myself tensing around her, my hatred for Charles growing!

Bella slowly turned to me, her hand gently caressing my clenched jaw, instantly causing it to relax. Her warm breath consumed my chin and mouth sending me into a daze of longing and love. But it was her soothing sad eyes that released the tension in me. Then she breathed,"It's okay Edward, were safe,"Then something mischievous passed through her eyes and she almost smirked,"You killed him,"She said intensely and scornfully, but I knew I was forgiven.

"How did you know that?"I questioned her surprised again.

"It was destiny Edward, destiny,"she almost purred.

"Does that make you happy?"I wondered, she'd never liked people dying as far as I knew.

"Not exactly, it's like with Esma-ma, I hated him, if I could hate that is, but I didn't necessarily want him to die. He did deserve it though. Knowing he's gone and you got rid of him is like a huge relief, it makes me feel strong, unstoppable and safe, even if he couldn't hurt me anymore."She nuzzled into my chest. This time I purred to my embarrassment - I liked that I made her happy, I made her safe!

"So hadn't you seen me before?"I wondered.

"Not exactly, like I said, I only see the plot of the story or in this case destiny, but I recognized you from it, your soul and energy. If I saw him more I would of seen that a vampire would be his killer and that he knew of Esma-ma and other's abuse."Bella explained.

"I'm glad you weren't around him more,"I half growl and half purr. Then I plant my lips on her hair line."Continue please,"I mumble against her silky skin.

"I saw Esma-ma would leave me behind, but I knew we would be reunited one day. As time passed I saw the true reason for her departure, her biological son. I understood very well why she had to leave, for him. Then I saw he would die-Baby Re-do-After that I saw her depression, suicide attempt and savoir, Carlisle. I saw there love and you, her true and first son of the family. I watched our family begin to blossom, but knew it would not be time for me for quite a while. Besides, I don't think I was ready to settle and have a true family or rather final family. Not that that has changed, but I will anyways because I can't wait to be with you, promises or no promises."Bella chanted."Are family still had a long way to go, but between you and my arrival everything was really just a blur. I knew we would be very close and I would help you and meet you around seventeen or sixteen - that was always known, but I had no idea how or what you would mean to me, I thought I would have longer with you and we could become friends, but I was being naive. I knew you were a vampire and that would make it impossible to have such a nice encounter, or at least not one like that, but I think ours was better. Mm.."

"I also knew I would help Esma-ma's other son, Ryan Anthony Adams,"I could hear the smile in her voice.

"What's with everyone being called Anthony?"I joked.

"I named him after you,"She chimed and kissed my chin. A moan escaped me and I wanted too have her, all of her! It was a sudden rush of love, longing and lust. My grip tightened gently and I leaned my head back. Bella laughed and leaned away to my extreme disappointment.

"It is strange knowing someone will be a vampire and not being able to tell them, but I managed. I had know all of this a month before I warned her of any of it. I simply let her go and gave her a promise."Bella finished."I always knew I would die around eighteen, you just ended that life a little earlier than expected."

"How did you know you would die so soon?"I hated that.

"I'm a strong and old re-do, I can sense when I will die. Besides, I've never truly lived to be twenty, it was my time to die soon anyways."Bella choked out.

"Why do you always die before twenty?"I wondered, I didn't like how upset that made her.

"A re-do curse some would say, but in truth, I'm not sure - it could be fate and destiny."She barely whispered the words. I needed to distract her for now at least, I didn't want her to be so sad and she obliviously wasn't ready. I reviewed are conversation and remembered something strange she had breathed so quietly in between sentences, I thought I imagined it.

"Why did you say a baby re-do?"I wondered.

"Baby's that die usually become re-dos, if they have no name we call them a baby re-do or reborns or pure redones. It's a re-do society thing."Bella shrugged. I was still curious of Esme's baby, so I simply noted the information for later.

"How did you help...Ryan?"I started.

"My dear little Ryan was simply a lost baby re-do, watching the colorful between or as some call it, spirit world, go by. Sort of a thoughtless entity. No one came to claim or guide him, so he just stayed and when they did, they caught my...claim, soul scent, spirit, destiny or energy on him, whatever you want to call it, on him and just made sure he was okay for the time being. Then they left."She began."I feel sort of bad for being so selfish and taking my time to claim him, but I hadn't known he was all alone. One of the reasons I left was to go help him. I adopted him as my own in the next life at age six, but that hadn't been my choice necessarily. I'd lead him to a wonderful couple prepared for a child and became his twin sister, of coarse we shared no resemblance. I saw are parent's future and that there was no way to prevent it, they were destine to die in a car crash and then become a redone couple, soulmates. I prepared by separating them from him and getting a job at my mothers diner. We they died I chose to sell the property and we lived with are older grandma who was divorced. Are grandfather visited occasionally and so did are other grandparents who wished we were with them instead. Do to our grandmothers age I became the mother of the household, taking care of both of them. I died at eighteen...robbery and murder."I felt like she was leaving something out, especially the wake her voice shook at the end and her large hesitation.

"Just a robbery and murder?"I questioned.

"It doesn't matter!"Her voice was raised, broken and dry.

"Bella?"I was concerned now.

"Many bad things have happened to me, Edward, it's nothing!"She coughed out, nearly panicked. I had a pretty good idea, what happened and that made me furious-neither of us was ready to admit what did. I kissed her head to expelled the thought.

"It's okay Bella, your here now and your mine, nothing bad will ever happen again to you."I soothed and pet her silky mahogany hair,"What happened then?"

"I was only eighteen and I wasn't sure Ryan's future was safe, happy and secure so I...ghosted it till 1961 and simply said I was robbed. Ryan happily married a girl named Marry Louisa Towns, but had no children. They are soulmates, a destine re-do couple, content to spend there time together - at least for now. They both knew of re-dos and Esme, along with the future family and plan to meet up after I've joined."Bella explained, but something didn't add up.

"Weren't you seventeen in 1959?"I remembered.

"No, I was physically 18, I didn't know what I'd look like past 18 so I didn't put up an older image."She replied.

"What about your sister?"I pressed.

"Oh, yes I found my sister May and adopted her as well, but I she died on me again and I quickly followed, Ryan was safe anyways."Bella sighed.

"You'll have to tell me all about them sometime, but you never told me what you saw in my soul,"I realized.

She smiled warmly...


	7. Chapter 7: BPOV

**Bella's POV the day she met Edward,**

I repressed the depression flowing over me at yet another life nearing it's end - whether it be here or not. Duke, my follower could be my end or he may not. In this case I had more to live for, I need to meet Esma-ma's adopted son and so I would. I would find a way out of this - I had to! I couldn't run, I would trip and fall to much due to the curse of my first life! No one was around, but around here that was a good thing. I could try to reason with the man - in other words scare him with knowledge or become a ghost afterwords. A true doppelganger I'm sure. It seems those are my only true options.

If I must ghost it at least it will be safer for me to meet him, but I'm pretty sure we are destine to meet in this life while I'm living. So perhaps I will survive! I've done these things before and escaped after all - nothing new...

Time for a distraction, I need to keep calm - like always. What was so special about Rose? Was she really part of the family? If I had a little more time to watch her, maybe meet her as I had originally planned, then I would know for sure. There was something bright in her, despite her attitude and selfishness, something that deserved to be and grow, but it is lost in the future. If she is to join our family she will leave much of it behind, it will become sadness and hurt, longing and anger. Will anyone help her if she is to become my dear sister - sister...

What a strange word, it holds so much sadness for me, so much longing...I understand Rosalie, that light that may be lost is something very important to her. But I shouldn't go there! Besides in this life I have two hard working sisters, each with a secure and happy future. They will be sad when I leave them, but I have been distancing myself for a reason, my life will be ending soon - very soon.

Chelsey had and will become a semi-famous singer and cook, later owning her own cafe called 'Cherry Tops'. She will marry to a sturdy hard working and caring man named Erikson. Erikson actually will work as a lumberjack who got tired and stumbled upon my sisters cafe. Chelsey and him will have five children, none that I will meet in this life. They will live a happy life, they won't be re-dos - nor will Diana.

Now my dear Diana has softened into a sweet, caring and helpful woman who will be an amazing mother of three children, Elnora, Adriana, and Sisqo. She is still so strong and hardworking and she's grown so much, I'm so proud of her! Rather than inflicting the pain she feels on others, she defends the bullied and helps the bullies. As for her father issue, she has accepted the limited amount of time with him already, but still loves there time just the same. She will be a woods-woman and a well known carpenter. She ended up marrying a lawyer named Richard who managed to be home for everyone unlike her father.

I turned into the dead end ready to face the man, Duke, but I turned around to a shocking sight instead. Vampire, my thoughts rang! Vampire!

Vampires meant preserved life, an easy escape, a second dream. If I could not live a full or proper life, then at least I could live an easy secure one, yet something about this situation was so off. Normally a vampire - or at least a decent one - only kills one human per hunt, not two and they are very savage and play with their chosen prey, often tearing it into unrecognizable pieces, but he seem so clean about it, yet it was obvious in his glare and mannerism he despised the man and wanted to cause pain.

On the other hand, his close were wrecked like a careless or full time predatory vampire and I could see a flicker of red in his eyes.

He was unbearably handsome - even for a vampire. His strange bronze hair a hot messy mian atop his head - it almost remindd me of a halo. It was the most human thing about him and I felt the strangest and strongest urge to slide my hands through it - I'd never felt like that before. His skin was like any other vampires skin, smooth marble and nearly pure white - gorgeously inhuman. His feature angulare and perfect. He had a decent build, tall, lean and muscular - boyish. Compared to others he wasn't that muscular and more boyish - turned at a younger age I suppose, but not too young. He had fed quite a lot and the purple bruises from no sleep and hunger were almost completely gone. his eyes blazed red from the corners.

He turned to me, blood dripping down his lower lip - is it insane that it drew my attention to his lips and I felt a forceful pull and longing? So strange. He was so handsome.

Then I saw into his eyes and into his soul, I felt the connection the link, the insane longing and craving for him - it was a need. He was mine, i had to take him. The pull was to strong for me to look into it and before I knew it unfortunately I saw the rest. A flash of golden eyes a flash of green - each so beautiful, each so innocent and then I saw a darkening, leading to black and a blood driven red. I deciphered them instantly with ease, studying his story. he was a boy that had the ability to see into people's souls in a way, later becoming a mind reader with his turning. He'd been shy like me, nice and sweet - a gentleman with no purpose. He wasn't a natural re-do though. He would of died and gone to heaven, but instead he was saved and I am grateful. He was granted fatherly aproval in his vampire life by Carlisle and later a mother similar to his original. Yet due to his ability he had many issues and was angered by peoples thoughts, this lead to his recent killing spree, but he also thought himself a monster - a repulsive idea, he was no monster, but a lost soul, saving lives without a reason - like me, but he killed in anger. He was becoming and uncivilized vampire and that would horrify him.

I looked into an alternative universe where I did not exist and saw how he would live, how they all would live. Nothing changed in my family, I made little difference - I didn't matter, I never had. I was being given a family as a donation, but I did not earn it or deserve it. All was well, all was the same in my family. Carlisle changed Edward, then Esme. Edward left and a few years later came back. Rose wasn't raped that day, but she was later on and then turned. Edward and her were a suggested couple, but had a brother, sister love hate relationship instead. Rose saved a man and they became mates. A small pixie girl and her deadly mate joined and they lived. Edward was forever lonely though...it hurt to see that.

A second one showed us meeting years from now and he didn't kill me, Jame's and his coven attacked, Edward saved me, then he left and I grew depressed. I fell in love with Jacob - a werewolf and my daughter's future boyfriend, he protected me and became my distracting sun. I jumped off a cliff to vision Edward - not to kill myself and edward found out, thought I was dead and went to the Volturi to die. Me and the pixie saved him, he returned, convinced me he'd stay and the family decided to make me a vampire. We fought Victoria, got married, had sex and had a daughter and then things blurred out. It was a good life, perfect and happy.

Then I saw the direct future, My blood called to Edward and so he would accidentally kill me, then in depression kill himself! I would be forever ruined if he did! I had to stop that!

I saw another future, one where my blood cured him of his thirst, my wish sent him home and saved him some regret, and my words released him. I took away his sin, his depressing view and guilt. I replaced it with pleasure, hope and innocents. I gave him forgiveness, peace and a future - all I wanted to give him! It was beautiful and perfect, my love! All with a few words.

Closing my eyes and breathing in deeply, I lost myself to emotion, a suicidal and vicious sort of smile forming on my face. I was to die, all my love, all my life stood before me and yet I had to leave. It was a sad sort of smile, for a sad sort of thing. Would I ever be able to hold onto peace, love and fulfillment? Or would it always slip across my tiny frail hands? In a way I knew I would one day catch it, but would that one day ever last or begin? I had seen it, but not with my life. Seeing and living were so different and I had yet to live such life, so how was I to believe? Here I would die in front of the promise of fulfillment, when it was closest I had to let it go. What use was seeing it if I could not have nor touch it in this life. Just viewing glass, a cruel and lovely display to torture me further in this never ending wait and existence. I saw all I ever wanted, my heaven on earth, right before me and I had to let it go, leaving only hope in it's place. This sight gave so much emotion, so much longing and sadness, yet joy and hope lined it.

I was to give myself to my love and i was content with that.

I had never had a true re-do moment, but if I had ever come close to one, it was now. Heaven is where the heart is, when heavens on earth, so are we...and he was. Here I stand before my heaven, yet it is not my time. Here I stand before my heaven, only to say good bye. I will leave the one waiting there with love, faith, and longing. These emotions shall prevent him from feeling the loss, and so shall they for me! If May had ever gave a speech it would be like this, this is how she felt when leaving me, though I doubt it was as intense. I began, opening my eyes first.

EPOV

I blinked several times before coming back to my own thoughts,"That's what you saw, that's what you thought?"

"Yes," She said in such a warm and soothing voice I felt my heart melt. I now knew everything she saw in me and I now knew it was true. I wanted to see more of her thoughts, life and world!


	8. Chapter 8: First lives

"Bella?"I wondered,"Would you please tell me where it all began? Your very first life? Jasper told me very little about it."

"He wasn't supposed to tell you anything about it,"she pouted for a second.

"I was born in 1616, September 13, to Henry Alexander Stanton and Isabel Mary Stanton. My father had been an adventures, impulsive and naive man, who refused to settle - nothing could hold him down, not even his wife's wishes and pleas...or me. He got aggressive when someone questioned or opposed him, but other than that he was a friendly man. He was always active and loved to help lend a hand, but when it came down to it, he was absolutely selfish, he would only help a person if it was in his best interest to.

My mother, Isabel Mary Stanton fell for his charms and adventurous spirit, but she always had to have at least one stability in her life ," Suddenly she hissed,"he took that from her."

"She was young and adventurous as well, but able to settle and be mature. She was truly kind, caring and helpful, unlike him. She was loyal and selfless and though I didn't get to actually know her well at the time, she had always been my idol.

She met my father and instantly fell for him and he kept his eyes on her as well - they were big flirts apparently. I have to admit that they did have a connection and truly loved each other, but my father loved himself more. They quickly got together and spent one years adventuring before they settled and then My mother became pregnant with me.

She had thought me the greatest adventure of her life, but my father was quickly bored with all the inactivity and patience it required. So he would venture of by himself and then return home to his beloved waiting wife and she was content with that. He was there when she had me, but soon grew bored again. He was only ever there for his wife or to celebrate my achievements, but if I didn't achieve anything new to interest him and make him proud he would leave - perhaps that is where I developed my need to please people and one of the reasons I developed so quickly, too quickly actually."

I considered that, Bella did seem to need to help and please and she definitely was mature. Though it was a long time ago and could've been a past life, I remembered feeling like that with my father, but from what I remembered, it was simply never enough. I don't think I ever did get his aproval or interest, but he did love my mother. He was never there for me either. My mom was. What did Bella mean by to quickly though?

"After only four months I had began to talk and understood most things - that kept him around for a while, but after less than a year he took of exploring again. I had attempted crawling at three months, before I could even sit and found it difficult and painful - it'd been a very bad idea. Who knew that a baby's body had to developed and gain strength before it could do such tasks properly? Well I hadn't and since my body wasn't ready and I kept trying, being the stubborn and determined baby girl I was - traits from my father I assume - I eventually found a way, but it was wrong and it created an issue in my body's development. I was like a dolphin using it's tale the wrong way and tearing it's body apart by doing so.

So my body did things wrong and that made it weak. I had trouble walking, sitting and crawling in my first life and this caused me to be clumsy in many others as well. I believe it also is one of the reasons I became more reserved and settled, but I did get some of my original parents adventurous spirit, though I normally preferred hearing of adventure instead of adventuring myself. I had very nice arm strength, it was my only strength, so I became accustomed to climbing things, including small tree's at the young age of four and tugging my legs from behind since I could barely use them. I was very fragile, more fragile than a normal and healthy baby."

"What do you mean your trouble moving in your first life affected many of your other lives?"I wondered.

"It maybe superstition and it doesn't happen to all re-dos, but we tend to repeat the flaws in are first life, you'll see what I'm mean soon enough. Anyways we call them re-do curses as I said before."I nodded.

"This lead to my mother being over protective. I rarely got away from the house and I barely even got to explore the yard. Yet another reason for my reserved, and settled personality. My mom was my best friend and was always there for me, I knew her as the strong, brave, caring, selfless, helpful and devoted person I wanted to be and I'd like to think I got many of those traits from her. She taught me all she could, but didn't know how to read or write. Instead she would tell me of her adventures and make up the most amazing of stories - I could listen to her all day long. We had tea parties all the time and I loved to help cook, unfortunately my mom knew very little on that subject and her food was awful most of the time, but our little sandwiches were heavenly. We did many activities together and I was never really around other children, just her adult friends occasionally dropping in - another reason for my maturity and reserved personality. Everything was good back then, minus my weakness. Then my father returned.

He decided he wanted a real adventure, something real to explore and he wanted us to do it with him. My mother had been content with the adventure I presented her, I was her settling point, but my father insisted and so she agreed. he promised me tree's to climb and so I was originally excited and this made my mother feel better. He promised a better life and that one her over, but what could have been better than the lovely life we already had? Nothing!

My mom was insistently uncomfortable because there were so many people around me. She had become accustom to having privacy as well. Worse, the people weren't friendly, not many of them at least. The mothers were all protective of their children and wouldn't let them go anywhere without them or meet the fellow ship mates, so I didn't really meet any children there either besides a girl who had just recently turned six. Her name was May Nightingale Chanatry and we quickly became best friends. She won my mother's trust too. May was sweet and playful, much like a younger version of my mother. She was so helpful and caring, but also funny and sometimes mischievous. Her mother, Sarah fawn Chanatry was also sweet, but more settled, calm and patient, much like my mother she was selfless and helpful. Her husband, Luther Alex Chanatry was a hardworking lumberjack, strong, loving, protective and kind, but very settled, he was also funny like May. He worked a lot, but it was for them and he always found time to spend with them unlike my father and I loved him so much! He was more of a father to me than my own and I wasn't even truly his. On the ship he didn't work, so I only knew he had worked a lot from their stories, but I could tell they were true. I got to know him very well while on the ship and had become very close, my mother was happy that he made me feel so safe, protected and loved, made me feel happy. I spent a lot of time with May and her family, but also saved time for my beloved mother

Things weren't the best, even in the beginning. The food was horrible and water was scarce, there was no space, privacy or proper bathrooms and people would get sea sick and stuff, but I enjoyed it in the beginning. It was worth it, for the change, adventure and new family. But as time went on people got really sick, starved and very cold. There were few resources and not many blankets or beds. I slept on the floor with my mom. You could hear the coughing all through the night and it was so scary, dark, cold and simply horrible, especially when you're just a child. Then my father got sick and I had to help care for him. Meanwhile May's mother had also fallen ill and I was also helping her a bit - she helped me to. Soon my mother became ill to and I was so scared and lost. My mother had always been strong, stable and unstoppable, now she was weak and I had to take care of her instead, and my father. I did my best and rarely left her side, I barely saw May, besides her mother was far too weak and she understood, she rarely left her mother's side as well, but visited mine a few times.

May said she was losing two mothers and I'd replied 'I'm losing everything, but you,' May'd nodded. Her mother died earlier than most. After a while my father followed. Finally my mother did to and I was broken. Luckily Luther had chosen to take me in and adopted me, it's what my mother would've wanted. I had a father and a sister at least. May had fallen ill at one point, but we'd recovered her, unlike the others. "Bella sighed.

"That's terrible. I don't remember my human life well, but I know that it's horrible to have your whole family die around you."I sighed and rubbed her back, she just nodded.

"It was shocking how much could change in three months or so. I hadn't even died and yet I had a completely new life! Everything was new and different, especially the thick forest and it scared me, I resented the forest. I'd barely seen the world outside of my house and now it was like I was on a completely different planet! It was all to green!"I chuckled at that last comment.

"I had no home and my old family was gone, but I still had a father and a sister and that made things better. I missed my mom so much, but I would heal. Three months ago she'd been my whole world, my best friend, and now she was gone and I was being sent out with a new one. I'd learned of death, love and birth already - I understood it all. What I hadn't understood was what my father saw on that ship, because I sure didn't see it and I hated this hard, scary and sad adventure - it wasn't like the ones mother told me about. I didn't understand why'd we came or that my father had pushed us to and my mom had given up all that she had, wanted and loved, besides me and him. I realized that I had also given up all I'd had, wanted and loved and now I was facing a new world, family and life. I was released into the big scary world and that was an unpleasant adventure. At the same time I don't honestly regret it, but I do wonder sometimes...

My new father who I'd began to actually call dad, built us a log cabin to settle in and May and I had helped in anyway we could. We were both mourning the loss of our mothers, but we were in it together. We had quickly learned many skills, like cooking, sewing, cleaning, treating wounds and caring for the sick. We could also make fire and May could hunt, I'd had to wait till I turned five. we all stuck together and reclused from the rest. After a while we did heal decently and became a decently happy family.

I was almost six when my life drastically changed yet again. Me and May were playing out in the woods, our dad wasn't to far from us when we heard some branches crack and a humongous roar. Next our dad told us to run back to the house and we heard the bang of his shotgun, May fled. I was so scared for him that I simply couldn't, I couldn't leave him! I couldn't abandon him, but I also couldn't move to help. Then came a scream and thud, followed by another bang and one more after. I ran to the scene, not knowing what to do or if it was over or who had won. What I saw horrified me. They were both dead. My dad mauled, clawed and mangled with the gun on his chest and the bear on top of him and his weapon, oozing more blood onto the scene and covering him. I would have fainted, but instead I had to hope and see if just maybe he was alive. He wasn't, but the bear was and it moved off him slightly with a moan, it wouldn't live and it was in pain. I hated what I had to do, but I couldn't let it suffer such a slow and painful death. I grabbed the gun and shot it.

I went to check on May and tell her the horrible news. Imagine being a five year old, who's already lost their birth parents and just saw there adoptive father mauled and bloody with a slowly dieing bear on top of him, putting it out of it's misery and then running off to tell your adoptive sister her birth father is dead."I couldn't, how could any five year old girl with trouble moving live through all that? I'd never heard of someone so strong! And she was mine!

"She had a panic attack and didn't take it well, she was broken and not recovering this time. Her distress was causing her body to quit working, she didn't want to live, she wasn't going to fight or get over this - I think I'd known since her panic attack, but I'd denied it. We ate the bear and used its fur as not to waste the meat and resources. I'd been the one to bring the bear back, to gather fire would, skin the bear, start a fire, cook the meet and then find a way to preserve it, crying as I did. I'd never liked killing creatures, let alone skinning them and it was a lot worse without my second father there to comfort me, but I sucked it up - for May. May was all that mattered at that time.

She barely ate and she was cold, but wouldn't warm herself and she refused to sleep, when she finally did, she had nightmares, terrible ones and so did I. I'd always had nightmares though, constantly since seeing the sick people on the ship. May hadn't, but after that she did. All I could do was sooth her because she wouldn't talk. Every day, I hunted and did the chores by myself while watching her. I forced her to eat, moved her to the fire when she got cold and wrapped her up in blankets, At night I snuggled with her and held her close, I never slept because I had to keep rocking, petting and soothing her, I often sung to her. Despite all my efforts she didn't improve, I couldn't even keep her healthy. I felt better knowing as long as I rocked her, pet her and sang to her the nightmares didn't come. May developed a fever within the first week and I couldn't get any food down her at all by the second week, she became very ill and never said a word. Her last sunset I finally forced her to speak.

"You're not going to get better are you,"I sighed, trying to keep the tears and pain out of my voice.

"No,"Her precocious little child voice was raw, but a blessing to hear because I would not hear it soon and hadn't in along time.

"You promised we were in this together,"I pressed her, but I had little hope of her staying.

"I know, but I just can't take it Bella, maybe in another life, a safer world, a different time we could make it together, but I can't Bella, I'm just not strong enough,"She cried, her voice gentle, smooth and warm as always even in this rough state.

"It's settled then,"I smiled"Another life,"I'd agreed.

Yeah, another life,"She repeated. With that she fell asleep and I began singing.

That was the last time she spoke, the last time she opened her eyes and the last sunset she saw. I cried all night as her heart grew fainter and fainter, then it finally quit at sunrise the next morning."Bella was crying now. She had begun this story without any emotion and ended crying. My poor little strong Bella.

"It's okay, it's okay Bella."I reassured her.

"No it never is!"She whined,"May always dies. I lost every family I ever had and I still live, I always live! At that time I had lost my second family and all I had was her, but she left me as well. It's not her fault, but, but, but it's not mine either."She sobbed. May did seem weak in comparison to Bella, and May was the older one as well.

I began to hum till her little panic attack was through and then she spoke again. Her voice was sad, worn and dull.

"It was terrifying how much could change in one month. I had no family, I had no home and I had no reason to live. I could've stayed in the cabin, but it held too much love and loss, I needed a new start, a new life again. I buried May first and spent one last sunset near her, then I grabbed a bag, took some clothes, amo, my dad's gun, the bear that killed him I'd made into a blanket and a few special things. To remember my original father I had a compass he'd given me before the trip. To remember my mother I had a heart shaped locket, she'd given me on my last birthday she livid for, it was the one thing I took with me from my original home. To remember my second mother I had a ring she'd given me to show me I was special. To remember May I had a wooden charm bracelet she'd made me that said sisters forever together , I'd made her one as well. And for dad, his gun and my now favorite blanket. I need to retrieve those once I get settled.

Anyways I took of into the forest, heading away from the already distant town and deeper into the forest I once hated. This was my home, The trees, creatures and bugs were my family and that was my life, or so I had thought. I'd fallen asleep wrapped in my bear skin blanket as the fire died and had nested up against a tree, like any other night. Only this time when I woke I was not alone. A beautiful pale woman with blazing red eyes and long curly black hair sat against a tree across from me. She had a thin angler face and wore a faint warm smile. She was dressed in casual wear outdoor wear. She was oddly perfect, to pale and her eyes were very strange, even I could tell that at that time."She sighed.

"Wait, you met a female vampire in your first life at age five, after your second family died and you were wandering the woods alone?"I asked in disbelief.

"It only gets crazier from there, Edward,"She reminded me in all seriousness.

"She said "Hello darling, I was just wondering what you were doing out here, all a lone, by yourself"And her voice was pleasant, but to perfect and her lips had formed a smirk now.

"That was slightly redundant ma'am,"I smirked as well, it'd been a long time since I'd had company and I was delighted to have found some one or rather they found me. She smiled and laughed a little, " Though I could ask you the same thing,"I pointed out.

"Ah, yes you could dear, but I asked first,"She returned.

"How bout we play twenty questions, that can be your first, I'll answer it and then ask you one,"She nodded"I'm living,"She frowned at my simple answer."I couldn't help, but burst into laughter at that - Bella was so intelligent even in her first life and it was hilarious the way she'd spoken to the strange lady at such a young age. I kissed her head and she continued

"Why are-"She began.

"It's my turn now, why are you out here?"I repeated. She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'm exploring the new lands,"She answered and I smiled.

"My original parents were explorers to, but my mom gave that up for me,"I smiled.

"What happened to them?"The woman asked.

"They became ill while traveling here, I'd only been four,"I replied sadly,"Do you have a family?"

"No,"She breathed and looked down,"Maybe we could stick together though,"She smiled and looked back up.

"I'd like that,"I blushed because that's what I always do as a human. First sign of a vampire, she looked away from my blush."i chuckled at that as well. Bella kept going.

"What happened after they died?"She asked.

"My best friend's father adopted me. I'd always considered him my second father and in some way's he was a better one than my original one. So I had a Dad and a sister when I first came here."I sighed,"Did you come here with some one to begin with?"

"Yes, I had a little girl and my sister,"She sighed,"You look a lot like my daughter,"she smiled.

"So what happened to that family?"She asked.

"A bear attacked and killed my daddy. After that my sister was heart broken and she became ill - I couldn't force her to live or fight, I couldn't make her live. I was almost six at the time."I sighed again,"What happened to your family?"

"I had to leave them, I changed. I became a danger to them."She was still looking away,"How old are you now?"

"I think I'm six, but I haven't kept track of time. My birthday's September 13."I admitted.

The lady grinned,"Happy birthday then,"she laughed.

"Wait, it was your birthday?"I repeated.

"That's what I asked,"she giggled

"It's my birthday to day?"I wondered.

"Yes dear,"She smiled,"What's your name?"

"Wait I never asked my question,"I complained.

"You asked about your birthday silly,"She giggled.

"I'm Isabella Marie no last name, but I prefer Bella,"I frowned. I had no family to share a last name with.

"I'm Bethany Elnora Francis, but I go by Beth,"She grinned."You could take my last name if you like,"

I'd nodded - my thoughts were, would she take me in? Would she be my third mother?

"Why did you have to leave your family,"I asked.

"I'm not human anymore, I'm not safe and I couldn't risk them,"She stated.

"What are you then?"I pressed.

"Not so fast little Bella, it's my turn. So you've been out here fending for yourself for a while?"She wondered.

"Yep, I have my fathers gun and the bear blanket,"I pointed"Now answer my question,"

"I'm a vampire, do you know what that is Bella?"She wondered.

"Was she really so blunt about it?"I questioned.

"I was a child, what was I going to say or do? It would've been so easy to manipulate me and make me think it was all a dream or that she was actually a fairy princess,"Bella giggled and I simply smiled - she was right, as always.

"You drink people's blood, my original mom told me about those creatures, are you really one of them?"I'd asked.

"Yes,"She breathed"Do you think I'm a monster?"

"No,"I replied,"Bella replayed the conversation.

"How did you not think we were monsters?! What did your mother tell you?!"I wondered. she was insane!

"Hah - my mother told me just about every legend there was about them and some more stories as well. Even ones about male vampire's seducing human girls and using them."Bella hissed.

"Why would she tell you such things?"I shook my head.

"Because those stories work things I would find out in the world. She was very open about everything, she wanted me to be prepared even if i hadn't seen anything so far."Bella explained,"Yet another reason I was so mature and knowledgeable, but just as she taught me, I remained open."

"I asked her this to put it in perspective"I eat and kill animals, am I a monster?"

"No silly,"She laughed."Would you join me in my vampire state and be my child?"

"Why would she take you and not her own child?"I wondered.

"I had nothing to live for and I was all alone - she understood that she was doing me a favor. Her child still had a family and the possibility for a life."Bella explained as wise as ever.

"Yes please!"I'd squealed because that's all I'd truly wanted since seeing her, for someone to take me. I never regretted my decision and a truly didn't lose anything. Infact I gained alot. As a vampire I was graceful and strong, it no longer hurt or troubled me to walk and move and I was given a beautiful, everlasting childhood. It was wonderful."

"What about the transformation?"I hated to think of her in that kind of pain.

Bella simply shrugged,"She bit me and it burned, but I didn't scream because I had asked for that and I didn't want to upset my new mama. I felt so strange, like I said it was easy to walk, run and more - things I'd always struggled with. I was so thirsty, I ran after the first semi decent scent I found. I killed a mountain lion and drank it before my mama could catch up with me. She told me it wasn't normal to drink the blood of animals, but ended up doing the same."

"Wait, you were a vegetarian immortal child?"I tried to process that.

"Of all things, yes. It was insanity,"She joked,"And in my first life too, but I have always considered it my forth."

"Anyways, occasionally my mama would kill a human. At the time I hadn't noticed the pattern, but now I know she was beaten by her husband and fled, that's why she came to the new world. Anytime we came across a man who beat his wife she drained him.

Me and my mama were happy, we roamed the forest together and played. Sometimes we ran into another vampire and they were very mean, we had to run or fight. We stayed in the middle of north America, that was our home. I'd only met six other vampires divided into two covens and one nomad as mama called them. We met a territorial male vampire and his mate who really seemed to hate me for some reason - later I learned why. The male attacked and chased us away, but we never provoked him. We were chased up to what is now know as Canada and lived there for a while, then we went to Alaska and met a coven of three sisters."

"Alaska?"I wondered,"Three sisters? Like Tanya, Kate, and Irina? Were they vegetarians?"

"Yes. Was that the unamed sister's name, Kate?"She asked.

"I believe so,"I shrugged,"You met my adoptive cousins in your first life, before Carlisle and I even met them?"

"Yes I guess,"she giggled.

"They attacked us, mama was defending me, but one of the females was stinging her somehow, Kate and then I shot out some kinda shield and it stopped and we continued to fight, but I was already caught.

"Please, don't hurt mama, I've lost to much,"I'd cried and one stopped, Tanya.

"Please don't hurt her, I don't know why you hate us, but please don't hurt her,"I pleaded some more.

"What are you doing Tanya, she's an immortal child,"Hissed the one holding me, Irina.

"She just...seems so intelligent. She's mature like."Tanya said.

"She's an immortal child, don't be fooled,"Hissed Kate.

"Tanya, please don't hurt her. You can hurt me, but not her,"I cried.

"No baby, no,"Mama insisted,"No one's going to hurt you,"I ignored her and continued to look at Tanya.

"What's your name child?"She asked.

"I'm Isabella Maria Francis and that is my mama, Bethany Elnora Francis, but we go by Bella and Beth,"I took a breath,"I've had two other last names as well, Stanton and Chanatry."

"What happened to those last names?"Tanya pressed.

"My family's died, then mama found me and took me in,"I sighed at the memory.

"You're a vegetarian vampire?"Tanya stated it like a question.

"What's that?"I'd wondered.

"You only drink animal blood,"The one holding me explained.

"No, mama kills men sometimes, but I am a vegetarian,"I replied. I'd always liked that word.

"How's that possible? You're an immortal child,"Kate hissed.

"She didn't want to take a human away from their family and make the family sad. She didn't want to kill people,"Mama hissed,"I agreed with her and became a vegetarian as you call it, but I slip sometimes, she's never had human blood, not once."

"That's insane,"Irina, my captor hissed.

"I think we should let them go,"Stated Tanya,"The child is obviously able to think and consider her actions, she's not like Vasilii."

"That's insane, she's an immortal child!"Irina hissed.

"I agree with Irina,"The Kate hissed.

"Look, she became a vegetarian vampire as soon as she was created, she's had two families that both died, she can think."Tanya insisted in wonder.

"I wouldn't of changed her if I thought she would be one of those crazed immortal children,"Mama growled."Now please let us go and you'll never see us here again!"

"Please,"I begged.

"Fine,"Kate hissed.

"Thank you Tanya, thank you so much,"I cried and hugged her when they let me go. She hugged back.

"Anytime sweetie,"She smiled

"Yes, thank you girls, now let's go Bella,"Mama growled.

"Bye,"I smiled shyly and they said bye as well. Mama explained what I was and why people feared me and a few other things after that. We worked on my shield that we discovered in that fight. I was really good at using it after a while, it was hard in the beginning

We returned to our original territory and a few years later a male nomad ran into us and then ran off. Quickly after we were ambushed by a large group of vampires claiming to be something called the Volturi."

I couldn't help, but growl at that.

"You had three families, four lives, became a vegetarian shield immortal child, met six vampires divided into to covens and one nomade, including my cousins and ontop of all that you were ambushed by the Volturi in your first life?"I confirmed.

"Insane as I said and it only get's better."she chuckled. My life was starting to feel very boring and ordinary. She continued.

"You can't do this, she's not an immortal child! She can think, she takes responsibility for her actions, she has a conscious!"Mama screamed in front of me, she was frantic.

"I wouldn't do anything bad I promise,"I agreed."Don't hurt my mama!"I squealed."

"Do you ever think about yourself, what about your protection?"I questioned her.

She shrugged.

"Two vampires pulled her away from me, I leaped onto ones leg.

"Please don't hurt her, kill me, but not her. I can't lose another family!"I whined.

"Wait, the child is capable of thinking, let her live,"A female called, she wasn't an adult either.

"What about my mama!"I screamed.

"Sorry, little girl, but she did create an immortal child,"The voice rang.

"But you just said I am fine and all she created was me,"I growled.

"Why isn't she in pain,"The female voice growled. I looked up at mama as I felt something prod by shield.

"What's that?"I asked annoyed by the little push.

"What's what child?"asked the female. I was silent for a second.

"What's pushing against my shield?"I wondered.

"What shield darling,"The female smiled falsely.

"I have a mental shield that i always keep around mama and me."I replied,"Who was prodding it with there power?"

"I think you may be of use to us little one,"She smiled,"If we let your mother and you live will you come back with us to meet are master?"The female asked. I agreed and they told me all about themselves. Jane - the female - and me quickly became friends, but I had the feeling it was temporary and if she was told to, she'd enjoy killing me. Alec was pretty cool to.

Anyways, I was brought to Aro and he decided we could live as long as I worked for him, so he could monitor me. Even at that age I knew he was lying. The only way for us to survive was for me to become a slave though and so of course I agreed. I called this my fifth life. I made many friends, including Jane and Alec after they got over the fact Aro considered me better than them and life was okay. I learned all the secrets I could of the Volturi and I just couldn't stay. Aro was angry with me for my meddling. My mama had fallen in love and she would have someone one to make sure she was okay. I knew she would be.

I couldn't live with such evil and so I killed myself, simply walked into fire and felt myself burn once more,"


	9. Chapter 9: A Bit of the Re-do World

It hurt to hear this, it hurt so much. How could Bella kill herself? A world without her would be hell!

"How could you do that?!"I panicked.

"Shh, Edward. I'm here now and I don't plan to leave again."She soothed.

"How could you kill yourself?"I repeated. I didn't ever want her to do that again!

"I've never been suicidal Edward, I've always felt the need to continue, no matter what. I'm not like May, I don't give up. Walking into that fire was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I know I couldn't of done it if I didn't feel it was the only way to win."Bella explained and I was soothed a bit by her first words."I knew those who I loved would be safe and happy after they mourned. It was so hard to leave my third mother, you have no idea and I believe leaving and the witch twins were my only regrets. I was a prisoner and that was my escape, my only escape and I won. Besides, I knew I would find May and I was sure that I would live again somehow, I saw it in my dreams." I still hated that she had killed herself, but it made sense when she put it like that so I nodded and waited for her to continue, I was surprised by the spite in her voice when she did.

"It's nice to think that even if I wanted to die and go to heaven, I couldn't. I'm one of the cursed."She hissed,"There are many theories as to what the cursed, true, original or natural re-dos are. Whatever you want to call us."

"Why can't you go to heaven?"I asked confused, she should be able to go to heaven. Bella looked up at me with a look that said ' I just told you,' and I recalled her statement of there being many theories."What are the theories I asked.

She sighs in my arms"Some believe we sinned someway in are first life, or the morons believe it was because we were vampires, witches and werewolves ect, but neither myths makes sense, these are the ideas the people who look down upon my kind come up with. They are desperate for a reason to dislike us, to look down at us, even if it doesn't make sense and they have no true reason to even want to - it simply makes them feel better." I hated that!

"How do you know those are myths?"She flinched in my arms and looked at me with hurt in her eyes, hurt and betrayal and it broke my heart."?I'm sorry,"I whined.

"Many re-dos have seen past vampires go to heaven as well as vampires. You see this is how it works, all children are innocent at birth and for a while after, meaning all re-dos begin there lives innocent as well, so a past vampire who has sinned to a hell sentence can be reborn and change that, be forgiven - not always a good thing."I gulped at the thought of any human monsters I'd killed coming back again.

"Do you know if any of the men I killed came back as re-dos?"I asked.

"You killed exactly 3, 176 people, out of that less than 200 became re-dos. 3 of those people know of vampires, two are vampires and 90 or so are good now. I say you did a lot of good, whether in a good way or not."Bella informed him,"I'd rather you not do it again, it's not good for you."I flinched at the numbers of people I killed but before I could say a thing she began again.

"Some re-dos believe that earth is meant to have killers like that to keep the bad human and humans in general in check."Bella continued,"I'm not sure if I believe that or not."

"How do you know that?"I wondered.

"Re-do system, I wanted to get all the information I could on you, especially those you killed. Not becaUSE i THOUGHT YOU WERE A MONSTER it simply triggered my interest, but I saw in your soul how many you killed either way."She sighed,"Anyways that's not the point. If a true re-do or whatever you want to call us were to die in another life as a child, we would have no choice, but to live again, while a re-do by choice or a normal re-do would be able to go to heaven."

"So when you say you can't go to heaven, you mean you are unable to quite being reborn and living again, but what about ghosting and living in the re-do world?"I wondered.

"Pretty much. We can hang in the re-do world as long as we want, even create are own sort of heaven there. As for ghosting, it is just as it sounds, being a ghost hovering and hanging on Earth even after a death. We can also go from hanging in the re-do world to ghosting on earth."Bella explained,"I'll tell you more about that later though and I'll also tell you about watching."

"So you're a permanent re-do. Others are by choice."I stated. I liked that I could never truly lose her, she was a permanent re-do.

"Naturally,"Bella sung,"Others can actually build up enough energy to permanently attached them to earth or are cursed. Few can reverse such bound to a natual, cursed or chosen permanente re-do."

"So all laws are meant to be broken in the re-do world."I teased.

"Pretty much,"Bella smirked,"But I doubt I will ever break my bound to the earth."She sighed.

"Is it such a bad thing?"I worried.

"Not anymore, but it still makes me feel rejected and controlled."Bella sighed and I kissed her forehead.

"I doubt it's that Bella,"I hummed and she purred.

"As I was saying earlier, few of us have really sinned, so that's completely false. Some say we are cursed and that maybe true, other say we are chosen or have a reason to remain on earth that will never end so we ourselves can't end. There are rumors of a group of magical people or angels performing some ritual that would create everlast earth souls, or that are guardian angels"Bella rolled her eyes,"did this to us."

"I often say we are cursed, but I honestly believe god wanted to create souls that couldn't leave earth to keep it pure, but later lost contact with us because there were to many and we are born randomly, maybe chosen."Bella sighed, she seemed exhausted. I smiled at her theory and kissed her head again, smelling her hair.

"I partially wish I was a re-do with a quest that would one day be fulfilled and then I could rest, but it's just a thought."Bella ended.

"What's the re-do world like?"I wondered.

"I'm afraid I can't show or tell you more on that subject because I'm not allowed to, but to say the least it's nearly anything you can imagine and everything is spirit or energy, even yourself when you go there, it feels so free, but if you have a negative energy you can get lost in someplace bad. The place you land reflects your soul and others similar all at once."Bella chimed. I understood why she couldn't tell me and it sounded indescribable! It sound...perfect. Or at least in some places.

"It sounds wonderful, I can see why you'd hang out there,"I spoke my thought.

"Yeah, but earth has it's own wonders as well, like the ability to grow souls and create new ones. It also has you and my family. I also like how it is controlled and restricted in ways that can tame and teach a soul."Bella was so wise, it was hard to believe! I loved her even more if possible.

"You said you'd tell me about ghosting."I pointed out.

"Yes,"She purred,"Anything in particulare you'd like to know?"

"Yes, how can a ghost kill?"I wondered, Bella tensed against me.

"Edward...there are rumors of demons, dark spirits, entities, poltergeist and simply ghost, so many that it's impossible for it not to be true. There are re-do recording and records of those things sucking us in, trapping us us, torturing us and perhaps even destroying us as well as several wounded survivors and few unharmed. You see Edward, spirits without bodies are much more dangerous and threatening, strong and free, but in a way we are still vulnerable - we can hurt, we can be captured, cursed, lost and perhaps even killed. As a vegetarian vampire that once lost himself to drinking human blood you may think you understand what that feels like, but in truth, when your spirit and soul are set free from your earthly form you truly learn that was simply misplacing something for a little while."Bell continued her speech.

"Others say I'm a strong re-do because none of that ever happened to me, but I've come close - it's nearly as painful as being separated from your soulmate. When we speak of the re-do world we often make it sound like heaven, but it's definitely not - it could also be seen as hell by many other, they just don't talk as much. In truth, the majority of souls and spirits are naive, self-centered, and petty, they don't like to talk or see anything depressing or scary so they exile those topics and things. They joke about them and say they are rumors. That's one reason they look down upon permanent re-dos and vampires etc." Bella takes a breath.

"A demon or spirit could really harm a vampire, actually they could probly capture a vampire's soul without killing the body - enslave them,"Bella shivered."There aren't any in Forks as far as I know, but I've never come across one and actualy noticed."she shivered again, obviously these things scared and disturbed her and they did for me as well - I hated that something Could harm my Bella!

"Anyways, that's off topic. We were talking about ghost, not demons and poltergeist. You can kill while ghosting?"I wondered.

"I'm a fairly advanced re-do and ghost, but my specialty is illusions. Very few ghost can harm people, I've never tried or become one of them and I don't want to either."Bella informed me.

"So how did you kill and drink those animals?"I wondered.

"illusions, the deer weren't real, sometimes I use memories. Actually, I have been able to temporarily kill an animal and drain it as a ghost, but that's just a realistic illusion and I've only done it three times, I wish I could show you."Bella explained,"It's often called borrowing or draining a life source for energy, a very demon like thing, but demons usually would kill the victim, where I put them to sleep in a way."Shocking.

"Your astroung ghost and re-do aren't you?"I Stated.

"Yes,"Bella blushed.

"So why didn't you remember me last time and now you do, is it by choice?"I wondered.

"As said, I'm a strong re-do so I can control a lot. For example, I have always been named the same thing - Isabella Marie - and looked the same, depending on age and species or if a vampire, what I drink."Bella explained."I can't control what I remember in dreams though and I did remember you in a way, but I couldn't believe it,"Bella was blushing.

"Can I see?"I begged.

"Fine,"She pouted and her face was rose red.

Bella's memory

I was in a hurry to get to the dinner so I could get money to afford medicine for May, my soul sister, yet I had taken the long way. I wonder what the point is for the thousandth time - I know May is going to die, for she always dies and she always says the same thing. The phrase re-do curse pops in my mind again giving me only a slight headache. I don't believe that anymore, no it's lazy May, weak May - I shouldn't think this about her. I know I shouldn't, but I'm tired and this heavy promise is taking so long to accomplish. It is becoming a burden and every time May fails, it hurts and saddens me further and secretly it angers me. Sometimes I wish she'd just go to heaven already and be happy so I could...forget about her as bad as that sounds.

Maybe I want to be alone the rest of my existence, that way I don't have to feel so obligated to help and fix things. I could rest, heal, and find a way to be content, but No, that isn't what I really want is it. Why do I feel so agonizingly lonely and incomplete? I feel torn and depressed. Has it always been this way? I remember being sad and lonely in the beginning, but it wasn't to unmanageable because I knew I had a mission to complete, one I could complete. So I got over the intense longing. When I first saw May in Chicago and she kept saying I needed to be in Chicago I was outraged - I was selfish and greed from being deprived what I wanted. I'd just finished one mission and she was asking me to do another IMPOSSIBLE one for her. I wanted to die because death felt closer to whatever I was desperate for, death and then life since I was already a ghost. I just wanted to quit..., but of course I didn't and I apologise for my rage. I should be over it...But I'm not.

I'm angry with her, very angry, but I'm not exactly sure why. I feel that she's keeping me from something, someone - him, but I can't remember exactly who he is. THis is giving me a head, my heads spinning!

"Bella,"A all too familiar, all to pleasant and above all too perfect velvety voice called my nickname, but I'd never heard it in this life, nor any other as far as I could remember. My heart leaped with joy and all my anger dissipated, all my needs and longing fulfilled in that one voice. But it also confused me further and made my head spin more as it worked harder to remember things it had long since locked away, even as a ghost. I think I've heard that voice in a dream, it was a very nice dream and it felt like heaven, but I can't recall it to be honest.

I remember the many dreams of a man with green eyes that turn to gold and black...and sometimes red! I love those dreams because I feel complete in them, but I can never really recall them when I wake. That voice came from one of those dreams right? My head was officially killing me, I wouldn't be surprised if it exploded.

I turned around still as confused as ever only to see him - the man, the vampire, the dream. He was what I longed for, I could feel it, I knew it, but I didn't know who he was and I didn't understand or...remember.

I had a mission. I'd ignored him and all I wanted this long I can continue for a while longer. Right. Right?

Can I? I want to give in so much, but I can't not yet - the mission, my mission, my soul sister. My everlasting burden, the impossible mission. I will fail once more and then let the mission rest so I can give in.

"I'm sorry,"Was I talking to myself or him? Who was / is he?"Who are you?"That was my main question. He looked shocked and hurt, like a whipped dog.

"You don't remember me?"He asked brokenly and it broke my heart - why couldn't I just freaking remember, why couldn't I give in?

"I'm sorry,"That's all I could think to say, maybe in another life my only thought. Who is he?"What's your name?"Maybe that will help.

"Edward Cullen,"I felt a warmth spread through me, but I was unable to truly grasp it. Grr! I still couldn't remember and I desperately wanted to.

"I don't recall an Edward Cullen, but my name is Bella. Where did we meet?"I pressed. I hated to destroy the hope that had begun to blossom. He froze, of course he wouldn't tell me - it wasn't in this life. It wouldn't make sense.

"Um...in the park?"he lied horribly. that's not going to help.

"Oh,"I sighed. I wouldn't remember. I couldn't keep him or this feeling - I only wish I had those powers now, but apparently I gave them up in this life and death. I could become a re-do and get them back soon though - he'd be gone.

"So where are you going now?"he asked.

That question was all it took to remind me of my duties and my burdens - it made me hate my promise more than anything, it made me despise May. I know I shouldn't, May is my soul sister, I love her, but not more than anything. That's the problem isn't it? I love May, but I don't love her enough - does that make me bad? Despite the lack of love necessary to drive me, I continue, I give her my all each and every time - I never give up or break the promise. I couldn't possibly be bad for wanting something or someone else more, at least not while I continue to do my job in spite of that fact.

Why does May do this to me? Can't she just let me go? Can't she live so I can as well? Can't she release me from this impossible promise? I shake my head. He asked me a question I need to answer him truthfully.

"My sister May is sick, I was going to work at the dinner so I could afford medicine."I shook my head and sighed,"She never lives, I wish she would just become a vampire and live with me forever,"

Wait, that is the truth, but I didn't mean to say it, May would hate to be a vampire anyways! Though perhaps she owes me that. Wait he's a vampire, I can't believe I just said that! I have to get out of here! "I have to go!" I quickly turned and left.


End file.
